Speaking My Mind


A little after four pm on February 27th, she asked me to be her girlfriend. 

Janice* had told me that she had something important to tell me on the Tuesday before.  For a minute it had went through my mind that maybe she was going to ask me to be hers, but then I began to wonder if it had to do with work..maybe she got that promotion or was moving to a new store.  Janice said it had nothing to do with work and that it was good news.  She said she hoped I would be happy hearing it and that a few people know, except for her best friend and her sister doesn’t officially know either.

After two days of pestering her to just tell me already, I picked her up and went to Starbucks with her.  Janice was really weird though, she was all nervous and wouldn’t look at me…we spent half the time in awkward silence, her refusing to make eye contact with me, and the other half of the time I was babbling.

We only could spend forty-five minutes together before she had to go back home for her grandma’s birthday, so as the time approached four pm, I was like: Janice, when are you going to tell me your secret?  Is it bad?

And then she was all: No, I’m just really nervous to tell you.

Then I suggested going to my car and she could tell me then if it would be more comfortable.  She was eager to go to my car.  Then I spent about ten minutes babbling because she was still being weird and then finally, she asked.  “Do you want to go out?”

I sputtered “what?”, because I was very confused.   I had already asked her out on a second official date and it was established that we were going to go next weekend if possible.

“I mean, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Are you serious?”  I asked, stupefied.

She nodded tentatively.

“Really?  Aww, c’mere you’re so cute,” I crooned, pulling her into a hug.

Then I let her go and began to do what I do when I am nervous and scared and shocked and happy: I began to freak out and flail my arms and babble incoherent nonsense before concluding with folding myself into the fetal position in the driver’s seat.  “That’s what you had to tell me?” I asked, curled in a ball. “That was your secret or are you saying that instead because you’re too scared to tell me your secret??”

“No, that is it.  You’re so cute right now…I made her curl into the fetal position!”

“Shut up,” I mumbled, uncurling.  “Wait, are you sure that’s all you had to say?”


“So you’re not moving?”

“No..I was never moving.”

“I thought you were moving.”

“Victoria, I am not going anywhere.”

“Okay…can I have another hug?” I asked, grabbing her anyway.

“Wait, is that a yes?”  Janice asked.


And then we hugged again, it was really cute.  Kodak worthy moment.  Except then I started panicking because of the parent situation, the work situation, the situation’s situation…but I calmed myself down and then it was all good.  And ever since we have been calling each other “girlfriend”.

After I dropped Janice home I called my best friend and screamed at her in excitement and she got all excited because now we’re both in relationships and then I told my other two friends and they all want to double/triple/quadruple date with me and my new girlfriend because they’re all in relationships and yeah..it’s been awesome.

But that awesomeness will possibly end because I plan on telling my mom tonight that I am not completely straight and I will possibly throw in the fact that I am dating Janice now…but I don’t know…

The last few hours I watched coming out videos, cried, and then I packed a bag just in case I get kicked out.  I plan on going to my best friend’s house if that happens.

Shit, my mom is home now.

Wish me luck..

*name has been changed


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