• Speaking My Mind

    Sex and the Suburbs

    I’ve become the Charlotte York of the suburbs.

    It’s amusing to me that I resonate with this character from Sex and the City because I found her to be one of the least likable characters in the show, particularly during the first few seasons. It drove me crazy how much of a hopeless romantic she was and how she craved male chauvinism.

    I don’t know if I would consider myself a hopeless romantic, but I do prefer romance and emotional intimacy to one-night-stands and hookups. I also don’t know if I’m looking for true romance right now. At the moment, I mostly want to just put myself out there, meet new people, and have fun.

    The ways in which I’ve been identifying with her lately are mostly in regards to how her dating life unfolds. There is an episode of Sex and the City when Charlotte goes on two dates in one day and well…one Saturday about a month ago, I somehow managed to coordinate not two dates, but three dates in one day.

    Date #1: 3pm in a hipster town

    The first date was with a guy who works in engineering management. We ate lunch, drank craft beer, and then enjoyed a spontaneous street-fair with live music.

    He’s twenty-five and super sweet. He was interested in all my yoga stuff and asked me a ton of questions, which I appreciated because yoga is a significant part of my life. I don’t think he’s the most knowledgeable about issues that I care about, but he is open-minded and seems to be compassionate.

    We actually went on a second date a few weeks ago. We explored different parks in the city, then went on a mini dage bar-crawl. It was a ton of fun, albeit incredibly exhausting since we walked nearly 10 miles.

    While I enjoy his company, I don’t know if he’s attracted to me. He’s kept things extremely platonic, which on one hand I don’t mind because I don’t want to feel pressured and I also don’t want to get seriously involved with anyone right now. On the other hand, however, I would enjoy a little physical intimacy.

    We sat beside each other a few times at bars in the city, and although I turned myself to face him, he continued to sit straight ahead. So…I don’t know if anything will transpire between us. Currently, however, I regard him the same way I regard my best guy friend. This guy would be a great traveling companion and he’s easy to be with, but the connection may end there.

    Date #2: 7:30pm at a trendy bar

    The second date was with a thirty-year-old guy from India. He has been in the US since high school and he works for a pharmaceutical tech company. He informed me that his last two relationships were three to four years long, thus, he is only looking fun.

    We got one drink and talked for a few hours. He wasn’t as inquisitive about me as the first guy was, which suited me fine because I was tired of talking about myself after the first date. Notably, however, this guy was turned toward me the entire time we hung out, but nothing physical happened aside from a “goodbye” hug. For a first encounter, I appreciated it, but I think he’d be totally receptive to more, which is cool.

    Date #3: 11pm at a local diner

    On the way home from the second date at 9pm, I felt a pang of hunger. I totally fucked myself up by eating a late lunch on the first date. The Whole Foods guy happened to text me taco emojis while I was driving, so I called him up and asked if he wanted to meet for dinner. He had conveniently just gotten out of work so we met up at a local diner for a bit. We ate, chatted, and then parted ways. It was fun, but yeah, I just want to be friends with him.

    Then, a few weeks later, I embraced my inner Charlotte a little more. 

    One Saturday night, I went out with a 30-year-old lawyer. He happens to be a cancer AKA the sun sign that I have been having strong magnetic attractions with lately. We had been talking for about three weeks and we were supposed to meet three weeks prior, but we had to reschedule a few times.

    To compensate for all of the reschedulings, we spoke on the phone a few times and we texted each other a lot. More than I usually text people. The texting got a little out of hand because a majority of our correspondence was while we were both at work. Through our conversations, however, we seemed to have a decent amount of chemistry, so I was excited to meet him in person to see if the chemistry was genuine.

    As it turned out, the connection was strong in person. Conversation flowed easily and his entire body was turned toward me at every bar we went to.

    I find him to be sweet, interesting, fun, smart…lots of lovely qualities. We had a great first date, which included a sorta mini bar crawl (apparently this is the type of date that I prefer), and we walked around a bunch.

    This particular date causes me to feel like Charlotte because, in later seasons, she starts dating a lawyer who isn’t her type because he’s “bald and sweaty,” but she totally falls for him. He was into her from the beginning and he completely sweeps her off her feet.

    This guy isn’t bald and sweaty, but he’s not exactly my “type” either…or he’s not someone I would’ve been attracted to in the past. But so far, he treats me very well and I just…like him a lot. It’s surprising to me.

    I’m not alone in feeling surprised and intrigued by the attraction. He asked me out for the following Saturday. Saturday couldn’t come soon enough though, so I asked him to go see the new Joker movie with me on Friday night too. It was an awesome date-filled weekend.

    On Friday, I brought a blanket and we cuddled as well as we could considering the barrier between our seats. We began to make out after the Joker finally snapped and as bombs exploded on screen. The people next to us probably thought we were sadistic.

    On Saturday, we grabbed food and went to a few bars. Then we made out like teenagers in my car for over an hour, almost killing my car battery.

    I’ve been having so much fun with him and I feel like we connect really well, so he may stick around for a bit. We shall see…

    xx Vic

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