My life has been off-balance over the last month because I’ve lost touch with the Feminine. The Feminine is rest, fluidity, flexibility, creativity, and ease.
Instead, I’ve been operating predominantly in the Masculine, which is strict/rigid, constantly-on-the-go, and seeking to produce results.
The reason I’ve been trapped in Masculine energy is a result of obtaining a part-time job (yay!), which has caused me to feel overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities. The manner in which I’ve been attempting to manage my responsibilities has been by adhering to a strict schedule with little opportunity for rest.
When I’m not working, I am doing homework/studying. Then I’ll squeeze in a workout in an attempt to maintain balance, before going to bed. Fortunately, I don’t work on the weekend, so I’ve been able to relax into the Feminine a bit then, but the relaxation is constricted because I have impending assignments hanging over my head.
In an attempt to reduce stress from school, I started waking up earlier to do homework before work. Despite my attempts to minimize stress, work tends to be an additional source of stress for me.
The stress caused by my professional and academic lives has adversely impacted my ability to pursue hobbies and interests that I enjoy. Some of those hobbies include making yoga videos, writing, meditating, reading, and cooking.
The combination of stress and inability to enjoy my hobbies has contributed to feelings of failure in regard to the commitments that I have made to myself and to others. Additionally, I have been suffering physically from the impact the lack of balance in my life has caused, the most notable impact being frequent panic attacks. I’ve started to fall into old, ineffective habits to cope with the stress.
I don’t want to worry anyone by sharing this. The fact that I’m even allowing myself time to write, as well as the fact that I want to write about this at all, is evidence that I’m actively working on finding and embracing balance. It’s important to me to work on this, especially now, because the fall semester is beginning in a few weeks, and I want to approach it from a rested, balanced state of mind.
I also want to remember that when I lose balance again, because I undoubtedly will, I will undoubtedly seek to embrace balance once again. It’s never too late to create the life that best serves you and allows you to serve others.
Let me know in the comments if there are ways in which you can embrace a little more balance in your life!