Speaking My Mind

Absolutely Wonderful

Have you ever learned something new about someone and then spend hours and hours reflecting on old memories and things they did or said that seemed weird to you just…make more sense?  Or now you have a greater understanding of who they truly are?

The other day, my girlfriend opened up to me more about her past and…I’ve been reflecting on memories I have with her.  My opinion about her hasn’t changed but…I feel closer to her because I feel like I know her a little better than before.  And before I felt like I knew her pretty well so…it’s intense I guess.  Intense in a good way.

For anyone that has read through my posts throughout the years, you can probably see that I…am an intense person in the sense that I feel very deeply.  I tend to trust people without reason to and many of my friendships are fleeting but they’re very intense friendships because we become…fairly close pretty quickly.

Contrarily to how I have gone about other relationships prior, my relationship with my girlfriend has developed incredibly slowly.  Easily one of the slowest friendships I’ve had and it’s definitely been the slowest romantic relationship that I’ve had too.  It’s interesting…and it makes me reflect on what I was thinking about the last two days which was…how love is experienced and felt differently for each person you love.

The love I have for her is…more comforting than other people I have loved in the past.  In the past, love felt overwhelming and very intense to me but now…with her it feels safe and comforting.

That’s not to say I don’t passionately love her because I do.  It’s intense in a good way though…not in a way that’s anxiety-inducing and leads to many fights.  It’s intense in a way that we both find comfort in.  For example, we both love each other’s company, even if we don’t say anything.

A pretty funny story…I had laryngitis for about two days due to severe allergies and she had an ear infection, also due to allergies.  Therefore, we couldn’t communicate too well.  I didn’t think she would want to hang out with me because who wants to hang with someone who can’t contribute to the conversation?  But she loves to be in my company regardless, so she spent time with me that day and we made it work.  I was typing out what I wanted to say in the notepad on my phone and then she talked and she talks a lot so I could say one thing and she’ll go on and on…lol

Eventually, she stopped talking though because her throat was bothering her so we just cuddled in silence and at some point, we both knocked out; it was great.  She woke up in the middle of the night and asked me if we could hang out again soon, it was pretty funny because I was thinking “well, duh we’re gonna hang again soon.  We’re dating!”

There have been other times where she comes over after a long day and we just cuddle and listen to music.  It’s super lovely having that type of love where you don’t need to be doing anything in particular…you just want to be around each other.  I find that to be comforting.

Anyway…I’m grateful that she felt comfortable enough to open up to me when she was ready.  When I reflect on our past together and I see how the new information I know about her fits in with how she’s behaved or what she’s said…I just feel like I know her better.  I feel a little closer to her and it’s…wonderful.

xx Vic

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: