My frequency has changed since I started dating again, and I’ve attracted what I wanted.
By “frequency,” I mean the magnetic energy I am putting out into the Universe based on how I feel every day. My frequency, affects the people, events, and circumstances I attract.
When I started dating, I was tired of grieving my last relationship, I was bored with the monotonous routine of working full-time, and I wanted to meet people. I was feeling rather desperate to switch my day-to-day up, so the people I was meeting were also desperate. They wanted to rush into intimacy and I didn’t connect with them very well.
I didn’t realize I was attracting the same type of people until I put myself into a reckless, dangerous situation. It was unfortunate that it even had to come to that, but it was that event that forced me to take several steps back and examine exactly how I was feeling.
I realized that I was seeking validation in the form of shallow flattery from strangers. I also realized that the reason I was texting six people at a time was because I focused on having someone to talk to every day, even if those people were creepy and even if we didn’t connect.
Since these desires were coming from feelings of lack (I will never find someone that treats me how I deserve to be treated), my frequency was low and thus, the people that came into my life were in my life were unsurprisingly not treating me well. The superficial connections I had with these people often led to rejections, which unfortunately hurt me quite a bit.
After my epiphany, I didn’t stop dating. Instead, I decided what I was ultimately looking for, if not immediately, in the future.
I want to find someone that I have a deep connection with intellectually, emotionally, and physically. I want to feel excited about that person and I want the chemistry to be really strong…kind of addictive. I want to be magnetically attracted to one another. I want to go on dates and spend quality time with someone. I want someone with emotional intelligence and I want someone who completely respects me. I want to feel safe with this person before I choose to be physically intimate with them. But physical intimacy is not important to me right now…I can find that with anyone. I can’t find a deeper connection as easily, but that’s what I want. I want more.
Once I decided what I wanted, I became more particular about the types of people I went out with, and I took better care of myself.
Aside from yoga and writing, my self-care routine has included referring to myself with endearments, wearing glamorous stick-on nails, creating a retirement savings account and prioritizing my finances, reading more, ensuring that I spend time with people who care about me, and discovering ways in which I can be enough for myself.
Learning to be enough for oneself is a long process, and it’s a continuous one because one’s needs change over time. It’s a process I’ve been committed to doing for years, however, sometimes I forget, or choose to forget, about prioritizing myself. Instead of beating myself up for my own neglect, I simply decided to choose myself again.
A recent example was after a few weekends of back-to-back dates, I was super burned out from constantly introducing myself to people. To remedy this, I opted to cancel the date I had planned with the lawyer in favor of spending quality time with my sister and most importantly, with myself. Considering my decision to prioritize myself, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the connection I have with the lawyer is so wonderful.
“When you are on a feeling frequency of love, then only people who are on the same feeling frequency as you are can come into your life.” -Rhonda Byrne, The Power (The Secret Book 2)
When I wrote my last blog post, I was primarily like ha ha, I am Charlotte York! and I did not consider my shift in frequency at all. Here I am now, however, unable to not notice it.
It wasn’t until a few days ago that I became aware that my frequency must’ve changed. What caused me to even notice it was that I was constantly asking my friends and myself how I’ve managed to meet a super lovely lawyer on a dating app. It still completely baffles me that he is in fact, a real person and that he is also super into me.
I’ve only been going out with this guy for about a month…so everything is still exciting, new, happy, etc, but we have a surprisingly good connection. We are never short on conversation, which is why we’re constantly texting and why we stay up well past our bedtimes every night on the phone. We enjoy spending time together so much that we planned dates a month from now.
In addition to our natural chemistry, he treats me exactly how I want to be treated. He’s respectful of my boundaries, he’s patient, understanding, gentlemanly, and generous. He’s honest and he communicates extremely well. He’s been clear about his intentions with me and he trusts me enough to have confided in me a little bit. He doesn’t play games and he makes me feel wanted. Most importantly, we’re both having a ton of fun getting to know each other.
So…I’m unsure where this unexpected development is going, but I’m going to relax and allow it all to happen. So far, I’ve primarily been overthinking everything because he seems way too good to be true, but…he is true, at least so far. Besides, even if it all goes to shit, I’d like to take the risk.
While dating and romance is an enthralling development, I’d love there to be growth in the career/higher-education aspect of my life. I’ve been reading a new-age philosophy book lately, and this particular quote resonated with me:
“Even if you don’t know what you want to do in your life, all you have to do is give love through good feelings, and you will magnetize everything you love to yourself. Your feelings of love will lead you to your purpose. Your dream job is on the frequency of love and to receive it, you just have to get yourself there.” -Rhonda Byrne, The Power (The Secret Book 2)
There is so much growth and potential in multiple areas of my life. We’ll see what else is in store for me.