I’ve been feeling like I’m going through a breakup again, except it’s not a romantic breakup. I’m experiencing a roommate breakup.
I got a roommate my second semester of college. She likes Fall Out Boy, and I love Fall Out Boy, so basically it was love at first sight. But then the “honeymoon” phase wore off and reality struck. I became ridiculously agitated by her, and although I never talked about it, I think my bad attitude was noticeable. Then, Tuesday of this week, we broke up in the sense that we decided not to live together next year. (We were planning to live together up until this point.) So now we’re in this awkward phase like…”I can’t wait to get away from you,” except we’re still living together now. Yeah, there’s only like two weeks of the semester left and I’m rarely in the room anyway, but when I am in the room, it’s uncomfortable. And smelly. Did I mention she has BO? She also hasn’t washed her sheets since she moved here in January, nor has she done laundry since spring break so…two more weeks of this fun.
Anyway…dealing with this roommate breakup has caused me to reflect on relationships I’ve had and have. The relationship I had with my roommate was mostly one-sided (I was the only one putting in effort), there are a lot of unaddressed things, and she broke up with me in text because she’s too shy and scared to tell me to my face. It horrifyingly reminds me of the most recent romantic relationship I had, and it has caused me to reflect on the relationships that I have now.
At this point in my life, I feel hopeless that I’ll make friends, let alone a significant other, that will put in the effort to be with me, be honest and open with me to my face, communicate with me, etc etc. I love the friends I have now, I feel that these friendships I have are healthy because they generally communicate with me, but I don’t feel that they always put in the effort to spend time with me. But maybe I just have really high expectations for people…maybe I’m too sensitive…or maybe I’m devaluing the way I feel. All I know is that in the past, I’ve had relationships where I did not feel this way, so I know it’s possible.
I really like this quote since I feel that it pertains to me:
“You’ll end up really disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.”
I suppose I should just lower my expectations of others.
How do you all feel in relationships (romantic and not)? Do you tend to have relationships that are one-sided in regards to effort, or is there mutual desire?
I hope you’re all having a great weekend! xx