Speaking My Mind

Family and Significant Others

How do you navigate this? By this, I mean the title of this post. Specifically when your SO is the same gender as you are.

I worry that I’m not dealing with this appropriately…lemme explain.

My family knows about my girlfriend and they’ve met her. She’s come to the house several times. They don’t seem to have any objections (believe me, if they did, they would make it known) but they also don’t seem particularly excited about her. I can only assume it’s because she is a woman, but honestly, who knows. Reasons I have come to this conclusion though include:

  1. They never ask me about how she is.
  2. They never ask me about how we are.
  3. They don’t get excited when she is around, whereas I would expect them to get excited if she was a guy.
  4. My sister barely acknowledges her when she’s literally next to me. Perhaps she feels shy/uncomfortable though?

constantly worry about how they perceive her, and why they perceive her a certain way. For this reason, I tend to be hesitant to share activities we do together and anything that kids may tell their immediate families about their significant other.

I’m stressed that either 1. they don’t take our relationship seriously and/or 2. they’re just tolerating her because they care about me, but they don’t really like her, or accept her, for whatever reason.

I’ve been considering to bring it up with them but then I don’t want to address it because I’m afraid of instigating a dispute or an intense conversation…I just want them to more openly welcome her and to care about her because I care about her.

Of course, I’ve discussed it with her at length because I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable or bad about anything. She says she fixated on it before but she doesn’t let it get to her anymore…unfortunately it continues to affect me because they are my family.

If anyone has any suggestions for me in regards to how to navigate this, please let me know. I would greatly appreciate it.

xx Vic

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