I’ve been listening to a ton of angsty music lately…like screamo and heavy metal. I have always enjoyed this type of music, but I don’t usually listen to so much of it. When I used to exclusively listen to this style of music, I was unhappy and angsty. So it’s concerning me that all I want to listen to is angry music.
Part of it may be due to being sexually frustrated. I have been attracted to several people over the past year or so, but it hasn’t been reciprocated, until now. It’s kinda frightening me and I keep questioning the situation as well as myself.
I’m also frustrated with my friends from home. We had planned a major prom weekend part II at the beach for a month and then at the last second, two people bailed. The two bailers still went to the beach, but they opted to go with their families instead. It ended up being only me and one of my friends, which was super fun but it was also sad because it was the last opportunity for all of us to hang out together. The friend that went with me is going out of the country for a couple of weeks and then to college immediately when she returns, therefore, we won’t see her until winter break! At least I was able to see her and talk to her. But then one of my friends from school was telling me about plans to basically have a prom weekend with her friends from home and I’m just like “damn, why can’t my friends be reliable?” I’m a little jealous her plans for what I had wanted to do are working out with her friends.
I have a major roommate and room assignment conflict too. I’m extra paranoid about roommates since mine last semester was a disaster…I’m also part of a special program, but it has given me problems since I got accepted so now I’m feeling…tired. Like I shouldn’t have done this program that has caused me so many issues regarding roommates and room assignments. It’s disappointing…I just feel bummed right now.
So maybe that’s why I only want to listen to white, heterosexual men scream their privileges into my ears all day. Side note: why aren’t there more screamo bands that include women and other minorities?? They have a TON to scream about!
I’m just pretty upset and irritated right now about stupid stuff. I should be grateful that I have friends, that I was still able to go to the beach, and that I have a place to live this coming academic year. Just because things are not going the way that I had hoped or planned, it doesn’t mean that it’s bad.
Regardless, I’m still going to talk to housing to see if I can have this room and roommate thing straightened out to be the way I would prefer it to be. Hopefully, I can have one of my requests accommodated, but if not, then maybe the universe has something better planned for me. I must stay positive. If I can’t remain positive, then I’ll reach out to my friend who is 99% UVA rays. She’s my sunshine in my life.
As for this crush thing that I have going on…I have no idea what to do about it soooo…I’ll just keep flirting and see where it goes. It’s flattering to have it reciprocated and it’s nice to have butterflies again. Don’t worry, I’ll keep y’all updated about it.
I hope this week has been going well so far!