Speaking My Mind

Kiss Me Again

My girlfriend and I had our first date as girlfriends last Friday, March 14th.  We were supposed to have that date on March 7th, but instead I spent that day with her and a bunch of our friends.  March 6th was the day that I had been yelled at for dating her…I didn’t sleep much that night.  My girlfriend stayed up with me and texted me, trying to console me.  She’s been amazing and patient.

Anyway, last Friday we went on our date.  I told my parents I was hanging out with my best friend.  In reality, Janice* took me to an Italian restaurant but the restaurant side was closed so we just got pizza and we ran into all of her old teachers and my current accounting teacher there.  Then she took me to her house, I briefly met her dad then was led to her room.  She shares a room with her twin sister.

There was nowhere to sit except for the bed, so I opted for the floor, suddenly feeling very nervous.  I hadn’t been alone with my girlfriend for more than two hours for the past month…and the last time we hung out alone for more than two hours, we weren’t officially girlfriends.  As of that Friday, we have been girlfriends for two weeks and a day.

Janice teased me for looking so uncomfortable, especially when she deemed it a good idea to change her shirt randomly.  I looked at the wall, my throat constricting.  Then we decided to put on Perks of Being A Wallflower.  I had lent her the book awhile ago and she had just finished it, so we were going to watch the movie.  She suggested I sit on her bed so I nervously took off my shoes and flopped myself down on her tiny twin-size bed.

She laid down beside me, sticking her hands in her pockets “to make me more comfortable because then I’ll know where her hands are”…the first twenty minutes of the movie or so were very scary.  I was incredibly nervous and sweating and I kept hitting my head on her wall since I was pressed up against the wall, trying to avoid touching her body too much.  Somehow though, I loosened up and our legs were entangled.  Then I was curling into her, my face in the crook of her neck and her hands were wrapped around me as she kissed my head or cheek occasionally.  When the movie was nearing the ending, I got the nerve to kiss her cheek.  She started panicking, her body shaking and her breathing heavy.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” I asked pulling away a bit.

“I’m sorry, I just really like you and I’m just suddenly…suddenly really nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous, you’re making me nervous.”

“No, don’t be nervous, don’t be nervous…” she said, hugging me to her.

Then we cuddled a bit, feeling at peace in each other’s arms.  At some point, I was leaning over her as she was lying down on her back and she kissed me.  Our first kiss.  Then we were making out, our bodies pressed against each other, our limbs entangled.

Her sister came home from work then and waltzed right into the room.

“Do you guys want bread??” she asked, sitting down on the bed at our feet.  Janice and I pulled away from each other and I bursted out laughing.

“No, we don’t want bread,” Janice replied, shaking her head.

“You sure?” Janice’s sister asked, taking a huge bite of the Italian loaf, crumbs scattering everywhere.

“Yes,” I replied, kissing my girlfriend’s cheek.  Then Janice kissed my lips.

“Oh, you guys are kissing now?  That’s nice,” her sister said, getting up.  “I’m going to change my clothes now.”  She went to her corner of the room and then shortly returned in new clothes.  “I want to get a new tattoo, like right here.” She pointed to the front of her calf.  “Victoria, do you want to see all my tattoos?”


Then she proceeded to show me all of her tattoos, revealing more of her skin than I felt comfortable with.  I haven’t even seen that much of my girlfriend’s skin.

Afterwards, she plopped down on the bed beside me, trapping me in a twin sandwich, one of the twins being my girlfriend and my boss, whose body I was still entangled with.  My girlfriend’s sister showed me the girl that she is trying to find on an online dating site and then we watched a bunch of vines.

It was about 11:20pm or so when I said I had to get going home.  My girlfriend and I untangled our bodies and I hugged her sister goodbye.  Then my girlfriend drove me to my car, which was parked in the now-vacant Starbucks parking lot.  We hugged goodbye, but then kissed.  But that became making out, and then that became French kissing…me pulling her closer, and then her pulling me closer by the ends of my scarf, our hands roaming.  I didn’t get in my car until about ten minutes to midnight.

When I got home, my dad was konked out on the couch.  I gave him a hug and then texted my girlfriend a bit before having lovely dreams.  Then I saw my girlfriend at work the next day.

That same day my dad came into work with my sister to tell me that he was leaving for Florida before I would get home from work.  I don’t think my dad recognized or noticed my girlfriend with the manager name tag on.  My sister saw her though and glared at my girlfriend.  They left shortly after arriving.

My dad went to Florida to attend my grandfather’s, his dad’s, funeral.  My grandfather passed away on Thursday night.  I wanted to attend the wake and the funeral too but tickets were over one thousand bucks, and my dad got the last ticket that was about six hundred bucks.

Anyway…things in my house have been relatively less tense as a result of my grandfather’s passing.  The focus hasn’t been primarily on me anymore, it is now on my dad and my grandma and how they’re handling the loss, as well as my grandfather himself.  It is unfortunate that this is the reason I have not been interrogated, lectured, or yelled at for my sexuality lately, but at the same time it is a relief…but I feel like a shitty person for even thinking that.

Yesterday I saw my girlfriend for about two hours and we just talked and kissed and cuddled.  It was nice.  She told me that she told her best friends about our date on Friday and that they started asking her dirty questions, and that I should expect these questions when I see them next.  I also found out that my girlfriend has been taking pictures of me when I don’t know and has been posting them to her Instagram account.  I didn’t know she had an Instagram nor did I know that she was taking pictures of me when I didn’t know…she was like “I just want pictures of my girlfriend!” Which I thought was cute but still!

So I asked her to show me these pictures and she took one when we were FaceTiming with her sister, she took one when I was eating pizza on our date, she took a bunch when we were cuddling on our date…here is the one that she sent to me…

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You can’t see my face at all because it is tucked into her neck…but you can see my ear.  I didn’t even realize that I was in this picture until two days after our date.

After seeing my girlfriend I went to the mall with my best friend for Victoria and Melissa Day (her name is Melissa).  We went to Victoria’s Secret and got sexy panties, gossiped about our significant others, cried, ate Japanese food, talked about our significant others, got jewelry, talked about our significant others…it was fun.  Here are some pics of that!

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Melissa got mad at me for taking a pic of her for Jess when I was getting gas.

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Here is me crying and laughing when we got lost going to the mall.  Melissa and I always get lost going to the mall.

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My girlfriend wanted to see a picture of me so I sent her this attractive shot.

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Here is Melissa and I, alive at the mall.

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Here is the store that is named in my honor.

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Here are some unfortunate photos of me posing in front of my store with my goodies.  The tshirt I was wearing is a Never Shout Never tshirt and it was the shirt that first caught my girlfriend’s attention and made her attracted to me on my first day of work.

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Here is Melissa and I posing with our new #BFFL necklaces.  We also got matching BFF rings.  I got my girlfriend a bracelet that says “you and me” and there is the infinity symbol on it.  I haven’t given it to her yet…I also have to give her something else I got a few weeks ago.  It is a lavender spray thing that is supposed to help calm you down and go to sleep.  My girlfriend has trouble going to sleep.  Anyway, I hope you guys are all doing well, have a great week xx

*name has been changed

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