I’ve been single for many months. I don’t care to count exactly how long it’s been because it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I’m happy, and I can honestly say I’ve never been happier.
TRIGGER WARNING: suicide
I’ve been training to be a sexual violence response advocate for the past three weeks, and it’s been very difficult. Aside from the material itself being upsetting, the training has triggered unpleasant memories as well. I’ve also had multiple nightmares about being drunk.
I’ve been on summer break for three weeks now, and it’s been a hodgepodge of days.
The first couple of days, I went on a cleaning rampage. I’m still not done, but it’s coming along. I’m trying to finish this Friday so I can spend the rest of the summer doing other things.
Then I went to Florida to help pack up my grandparents’ house to be sold. It was a sad trip and it felt weird that none of them were there…but I found some cool photos and books that reflect my family history that I’ve kept. It was also nice to go down there to enjoy the house one last time and to support my dad. We took a couple trips to the beach too.
I had a really great Friday because I got trashed and danced Friday night away with my best friends.
My friends and I don’t party too frequently, nor are we serious partiers. I’m usually the only one that gets drunk, and sometimes I don’t even get drunk.
This Friday was especially fun though, compared to last weekend.
I rolled over in bed and smiled at her sleeping face. I had worn her out with all my chatter about nothing and everything, as we gorged on chocolate and poisoned ourselves with alcohol. Now, at 3:30am, she was finally sleeping. Her breathing was calm and slow, and her hands were clutching my blankets to her chest.
I turned away from her and closed my swollen eyes, feeling grateful that I had this kind of love in my life. It wasn’t romantic, but it was just as sweet.
© 2015 Vic Romero
Seventeen magazine had said that in January I would be flirting with two hotties (which I was: my manager who I started talking to two days before I saw my horoscope, and my former best friend who I’ve been reconnecting with for awhile and is straight) and that one of them is compatible with me. On the 26th I was supposed to know which person is for me.
I don’t believe in horoscopes. I like to read them though because I think it’s cool when they are somewhat relevant to my life, and I wonder how many other Scorpios (that’s my horoscope) relate to the horoscope, which in turn means that they relate to me. It’s a connection of astrology. I find it neat.
Regardless of my fascination with horoscopes, I have never believed in them nor have I ever deemed horoscopes to be correct. Except for the one that I stated above. Then again, my horoscope was actually not correct because I had known she was the one that was most compatible with me after a few days of talking, regardless of my questioning our compatibility when I found out that she smokes pot. Pot irks me.
Anyway, today is the 27th and I forgot that the 26th, the official day that I was supposed to know if she was the person for me, has passed.
Did anything happen yesterday that reaffirmed that she was the person for me?
….no. I spent most of yesterday not talking to her because I was studying or…”studying”. I did text her later last night during the Grammy’s though. I confessed to her that I had died inside (in a good way) that one time that she had gotten mad at work and almost whacked me with the door because she had grabbed my waist…she was all: omg Victoria you just melted my heart I didn’t think I could make anyone feel that way…
Other than that, there was nothing that happened on the 26th that screamed “VICTORIA YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH THIS GIRL!!!”
However, there have been other times, before the magical 26th and after that has caused me to like her even more than I did when I was just admiring her from afar a few months ago.
We have a lot in common, my girl and I. We have little things in common, like favorite ice cream flavor, favorite music, etc. But we also have similar values, such as honesty, family, work ethics.
We have a lot of differences too. She loves wrestling and football (specifically the Patriots) and I don’t watch sports (except for tennis sometimes). She enjoys romance movies, I prefer comedies. There are others too, but I didn’t want to make a list about her here. I want to talk about…Thursday.
In my post about my coming out to my friend yesterday, I neglected to mention that I got my prom dress yesterday as well.
I am dreading prom because there is an excessive amount of “prama” around it.
Girls in my school, and across the nation, make prom Facebook groups to post the dresses that they buy and threaten other girls to not buy those same dresses. I’m serious. Look it up. It was on Yahoo! News once. No girl wants to match.