Everything has felt so miserable. I haven’t done anything fun because of school, which I’m not doing too well in anyway…my bestie didn’t come to visit me for Halloweekend this year and I’ve been spending most of my weekends wallowing in my room. I can’t wait for this semester to end and to graduate, but when that happens, I’ll be going back home and I won’t be seeing my girlfriend nearly as frequently. Our relationship will change because we’ll be in two different places, both physically and emotionally. We only live about an hour away from each other but if I’m working full-time (at this rate, I won’t be because I stopped applying for jobs) and she’ll be at school full-time…we’ll have different, busy schedules. I don’t think it’ll negatively impact our relationship but I’ll just miss seeing her every day and I’ll miss spending as much time together. I also won’t be seeing my sister as much…I’ll miss being at school with her.
My birthday is tomorrow and my sister and I may not have a voice due to laryngitis caused by allergies. Dinner with our parents will be incredibly silent. This happened to me last February for the first time since elementary school, and I was hoping it wouldn’t happen again but alas, it appears it will.
I’m quite sad that tomorrow is my birthday…I am not where I want to be. Then again, I’m never satisfied with where I’m at. Why is that? What will it take for me to be happy, even if I’m not “the best?” Why make myself miserable? How can I change the way I value my life so that I’m positive and kinder to myself? Perhaps value societal expectations of me less? Perhaps value academic excellence less? Perhaps value the way I feel about myself more? How do I go about valuing myself more?
Anyway…I went to the city on Saturday to combat all this negativity. I went with my girlfriend because we had been talking about wanting to go for forever but for one reason or another, we haven’t been together yet. It was pretty spontaneous because we kept going back and forth with it but then we both got train tickets and hopped on the train and we were off!
I slept two hours on the plane, despite being exhausted from the night before due to only five hours of sleep and then popping Benadryl on the plane.
We couldn’t check into the hotel until 3pm unfortunately, so we explored Kensington, which was the part of London where we stayed.
London is pretty cool so far. There are a ton of punks and I love it, I feel like I fit right in. I saw a punk couple in this area…the guy had a huge spiky mohawk and the girl had blue or green hair. I wanted to take a photo of them because I felt like they were such a photogenic couple with their leather, studs, and Docs…but I didn’t. Perhaps I’ll take photos of Londoners the next time I travel to London!
After this excursion, it was finally 3pm so we went back to the hotel and I had a glorious shower and brushed my teeth! Then I napped for two hours and my roomie woke me up for the pub crawl.
Here is my first fish and chips at the first pub on our group orientation pub crawl. It came with mashed peas, it was yummy 😛
I had two beers and cider, but didn’t get past feeling tipsy, unfortunately. Some people went to a club afterwards, but I went to bed and had a glorious night’s rest!
Tomorrow we’re going to tour London, I can’t wait!