• Speaking My Mind

    2020

    I am scrapping New Year’s Resolutions this year! This is not because I don’t have any goals; I absolutely do have aspirations. Some of them include items from last year’s Resolutions, and I have new goals as well.

    Instead of creating a checklist of things to accomplish in 2020, I want to focus on how I want to feel. There are two reasons for this new approach:

    1. I cannot fathom all that I will want to accomplish in 2020, and I don’t want to limit myself to only what I am able to dream up right now.
    2. In 2019, I’ve been playing with “feeling good” to attract my desires, and I want to continue to grow this practice. The two biggest successful outcomes of this practice are obtaining my full-time job and meeting my partner.

    Prior to these two particular experiences, I suffered through months of grief, depression, worry, and doubt. I don’t expect to never struggle or to never experience negative emotions, however, I do expect myself to have more confidence, love, and compassion for myself, especially when life is difficult. I also expect myself to be more optimistic and positive about my future rather than allowing worry and stress consume me.

    I found this lovely quote that captures how I want to feel in 2020 rather well:

    “We’re asking you to trust in the Well-being. In optimism there is magic. In pessimism there is nothing. On positive expectation, there is thrill and success. In pessimism or awareness of what is not wanted, there is nothing…

    We do not ask you to see something that is not and pretend that it is. What we ask you to do is practice moving your gaze. Practice changing your perspective. Practice talking to different people. Practie going to new places.

    We want you to feel familiar in your joy. Familiar in your positive expectation, familiar in your knowing that all is well, because the Universe will knock itself out giving you evidence of that Well-being once you find that place…

    There is great love here for you. We are complete.”

    -Abraham Hicks – 12/22/2019

    So, below I listed areas of my life that I want to envision how I want to feel about them in 2020 and beyond. If you want to try this approach for the new decade with me, please consider how you want to feel about these areas, and share them with me in the comments below:

    How do I want to feel in my career?

    I want to be mentally stimulated in my career. I am open to changing career-paths, as long as I continue to feel thrilled by my work. I want to look forward to going to work, I want to enjoy the work I do, and I want to enjoy the company of my colleagues and supervisors. I want to be acknowledged for my hard work. I want more responsibility because I want to grow in my career. I want a raise so I can have more money for retirement, for living expenses, for savings, and to share with others.

    In regards to my Yoga career, I want to feel as though I have an abundance of knowledge to share with my students. I want to feel confident in my knowledge and I want to fearlessly share my wisdom. I want my devotedness to my Yoga practice be reflected in my teachings. I want to be connected with my students. I want to feel aligned and energized while teaching. I want to feel fulfilled after instructing.

    How do I want to continue to feel in my relationship with my partner?

    I want to be loved, cherished, respected, and considered. I want to be a team with my partner. I want to feel secure and stable while continuing to be surprised and excited. I want to trust my partner and in the relationship. I want to feel confident about the connection that we have. I want to feel supported in my aspirations and I want to make him feel that way too. I want to grow and expand together.

    How do I want to feel in my relationship with my family and friends?

    I want to feel like I can communicate openly and honestly with my family and friends. I want to be comfortable and unapologetic being true to myself. I want to feel safe being vulnerable with my friends and family. I want to feel connected with the people in my life.

    How do I want to feel about myself?

    I want to trust my choices and find freedom in them. I don’t want to be attached. I want to be healthy and strong. I want to be compassionate and loving toward myself. I want to feel relaxed, stable, supported, self-sufficient, and secure in my own being. I want to be connected to my inner wisdom and harmonious with my intuition. I want to be imaginative and intentional. I want to be selfless, spiritual, devoted, and disciplined. Lastly, I want to find more stillness and I want to create more space for myself.

    How do I want to feel overall in 2020?

    I want to flow with complete ease. I want to radiate joy in everything that I do. I want to relax and allow. I want to remain open to change and possibilities. I want to overcome hardships and navigate difficult emotions with love. I want to feel powerful and find bliss in my trust in the Universe.

    See you all in 2020.

    xx Victoria

     

     

     

     

  • Speaking My Mind

    This Is Twenty-Four

    My birthday was nearly a month ago now, and so much has unfolded since then.

    I went to Boston with my mom for my birthday weekend. This little trip was intended to re-experience the Boston trip we went on when I was in high school and looking at universities in the city. This trip, however, was way better because I was able to drink and we also didn’t have an itinerary. We simply ate, drank, and walked around, and it was wonderfully wild!

    A few days after my birthday, the lawyer I’ve been seeing gave me a beautiful journal with a letter he wrote in it. The letter was a reflection of his trip to Mexico and of our time together so far. At the end of it, he asked if I would be his girlfriend, and I said yes.

    We’ve been spending our weekends together since weekends are the best time for us to hang out. Our weekend activities have included going to concerts, meeting each other’s families, meeting each other’s friends, going to breweries, cooking, watching movies/TV, walking his dog, and silently doing our own thing in the same room. We’ve been having a ton of fun together and I will definitely have to write about him more soon.

    As incredible as November has been, it’s also been one of the most stressful months of 2019. Both my full-time and part-time jobs are growing tremendously, and with all the change, there is stress.

    Prior to November, I was subbing at my yoga job too frequently, and as a result, I burned myself out. Before I could fully replenish, I started working late at my full-time job. On top of all of that, I’ve been attempting to balance a consistent yoga practice, seeing my boyfriend, meal-prepping, spending time with family…etc, etc. Unfortunately, something had to give, and for me, that has been writing.  

    So, instead of posting once a week, I will aim to post every other week. At least until after the holidays.

    How has everyone’s November been? Let me know in the comments!

    xx Vic

  • Speaking My Mind

    Attracting My Desires

    My frequency has changed since I started dating again, and I’ve attracted what I wanted.

    By “frequency,” I mean the magnetic energy I am putting out into the Universe based on how I feel every day. My frequency, affects the people, events, and circumstances I attract.

    When I started dating, I was tired of grieving my last relationship, I was bored with the monotonous routine of working full-time, and I wanted to meet people. I was feeling rather desperate to switch my day-to-day up, so the people I was meeting were also desperate. They wanted to rush into intimacy and I didn’t connect with them very well.

    I didn’t realize I was attracting the same type of people until I put myself into a reckless, dangerous situation. It was unfortunate that it even had to come to that, but it was that event that forced me to take several steps back and examine exactly how I was feeling.

    I realized that I was seeking validation in the form of shallow flattery from strangers. I also realized that the reason I was texting six people at a time was because I focused on having someone to talk to every day, even if those people were creepy and even if we didn’t connect.

    Since these desires were coming from feelings of lack (I will never find someone that treats me how I deserve to be treated), my frequency was low and thus, the people that came into my life were in my life were unsurprisingly not treating me well. The superficial connections I had with these people often led to rejections, which unfortunately hurt me quite a bit.

    After my epiphany, I didn’t stop dating. Instead, I decided what I was ultimately looking for, if not immediately, in the future.

    I want to find someone that I have a deep connection with intellectually, emotionally, and physically. I want to feel excited about that person and I want the chemistry to be really strong…kind of addictive. I want to be magnetically attracted to one another. I want to go on dates and spend quality time with someone. I want someone with emotional intelligence and I want someone who completely respects me. I want to feel safe with this person before I choose to be physically intimate with them. But physical intimacy is not important to me right now…I can find that with anyone. I can’t find a deeper connection as easily, but that’s what I want. I want more.

    Once I decided what I wanted, I became more particular about the types of people I went out with, and I took better care of myself.

    Aside from yoga and writing, my self-care routine has included referring to myself with endearments, wearing glamorous stick-on nails, creating a retirement savings account and prioritizing my finances, reading more, ensuring that I spend time with people who care about me, and discovering ways in which I can be enough for myself.

    Learning to be enough for oneself is a long process, and it’s a continuous one because one’s needs change over time. It’s a process I’ve been committed to doing for years, however, sometimes I forget, or choose to forget, about prioritizing myself. Instead of beating myself up for my own neglect, I simply decided to choose myself again.

    A recent example was after a few weekends of back-to-back dates, I was super burned out from constantly introducing myself to people. To remedy this, I opted to cancel the date I had planned with the lawyer in favor of spending quality time with my sister and most importantly, with myself. Considering my decision to prioritize myself, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the connection I have with the lawyer is so wonderful.

    “When you are on a feeling frequency of love, then only people who are on the same feeling frequency as you are can come into your life.” -Rhonda Byrne, The Power (The Secret Book 2)

    When I wrote my last blog post, I was primarily like ha ha, I am Charlotte York! and I did not consider my shift in frequency at all. Here I am now, however, unable to not notice it.

    It wasn’t until a few days ago that I became aware that my frequency must’ve changed. What caused me to even notice it was that I was constantly asking my friends and myself how I’ve managed to meet a super lovely lawyer on a dating app. It still completely baffles me that he is in fact, a real person and that he is also super into me.

    I’ve only been going out with this guy for about a month…so everything is still exciting, new, happy, etc, but we have a surprisingly good connection. We are never short on conversation, which is why we’re constantly texting and why we stay up well past our bedtimes every night on the phone. We enjoy spending time together so much that we planned dates a month from now.

    In addition to our natural chemistry, he treats me exactly how I want to be treated. He’s respectful of my boundaries, he’s patient, understanding, gentlemanly, and generous. He’s honest and he communicates extremely well. He’s been clear about his intentions with me and he trusts me enough to have confided in me a little bit. He doesn’t play games and he makes me feel wanted. Most importantly, we’re both having a ton of fun getting to know each other.

    So…I’m unsure where this unexpected development is going, but I’m going to relax and allow it all to happen. So far, I’ve primarily been overthinking everything because he seems way too good to be true, but…he is true, at least so far. Besides, even if it all goes to shit, I’d like to take the risk.

    While dating and romance is an enthralling development, I’d love there to be growth in the career/higher-education aspect of my life. I’ve been reading a new-age philosophy book lately, and this particular quote resonated with me:

    “Even if you don’t know what you want to do in your life, all you have to do is give love through good feelings, and you will magnetize everything you love to yourself. Your feelings of love will lead you to your purpose. Your dream job is on the frequency of love and to receive it, you just have to get yourself there.” -Rhonda Byrne, The Power (The Secret Book 2)

    There is so much growth and potential in multiple areas of my life. We’ll see what else is in store for me.

    xx Vic

  • Speaking My Mind

    Harmony

    My life has been flowing pretty well.

    Seven months in, and I still enjoy my full-time job. I am continuing to learn so much there and I feel like I’ve made some valuable contributions. Additionally, I have a thriving part-time yoga-teaching job. I’m currently teaching two classes a week, but in 2020, I will be teaching three! Career stuff aside- I’ve accomplished a few of the goals I made for myself for 2019 and I’ve been upgraded from my dad’s old car from 2011 to my mom’s car, circa 2016.

    Essentially, I am living the life that I couldn’t even fathom as a possibility last year, however, I have been a bit depressed. I’ve been excessively critical of myself for being stuck in a routine, for not socializing enough, for not traveling, for not being adventurous, for not learning from my past mistakes, and for being unhappy when I have so much to be grateful for.

    Can anyone relate to this??

    I did an oracle reading the other day to help me refocus, and the card I pulled for my “obstacle to overcome” was “Harmony.” This caused me to wonder what exactly do I believe I need to be in harmony? 

    A year ago, I believed I needed a full-time job to feel at peace. I wanted to have somewhere to go every day, a place where I could make an impact. I wanted purpose and I wanted to begin my professional career. I also wanted to teach yoga so I could my passion for it.

    I have acquired both of those things, so now what? 

    Interestingly, one of the things I wanted last year but I feel at peace with now is graduate school. I am not anxious about going to graduate school. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to pursue higher education at some point, but I know that that “point” is not now. Based on my experience with flowing, I am confident that I will know when I am supposed to go back and I will also know what I want to study. So the lack of graduate school plans isn’t causing my current dissatisfaction.

    I suspect that my unhappiness and mild depression are primarily due to my feelings of nostalgia. It seems that when the temperature cools down in autumn, I begin to reminisce and romanticize the past. A year ago I was romanticizing my childhood, which was pretty wonderful, but at the end of the day, I was focusing on the past because I was lonely in the present. My childhood friends had all moved away and thus, I reminisced about them.

    Currently, I’ve been reminiscing about the hellish campaign job I had last year as well as my last relationship. I think the reason I’ve been nostalgic about my campaign job is that I miss some aspects of that job that I don’t have in my current position. For example, I miss the social nature of that job, although, at the time, I hated that the socializing was often late at night. In regards to my last relationship, I miss having someone to talk to daily. This is largely why I’ve been keeping myself busy with online dating.

    How can I find harmony with where I’m at right now? 

    The cards suggested I use guidance from higher powers, whether that be figures of authority and/or spiritual figures, to support me. I think I need to practice what I teach in my yoga classes: being present.

    Aside from practicing presence to achieve harmony, I have been writing quite a bit, I just haven’t been sharing my work. It’s been frustrating to spend hours or days on something and then have the work not feel…true to myself anymore. Maybe those feelings will change but if not, I’ll be working on new content. 🙂

    Have a great week, everyone!

    xx Vic

     

     

     

  • Speaking My Mind

    On This Episode of the Bachelorette…

    I will admit that I have developed an online dating addiction. I’ve been spending most of my free time “swiping” on my dating apps of choice, OkCupid and Bumble, and striking up conversations with various strangers in the hopes that one of them will have the potential to become a romantic partner.

    While I spend way too much time on dating apps, I’m not ready to stop using them just yet. There’s something enthralling about the mystery and ease of chatting with new people online. Of course, it’s not always a glamorous experience: last week I was feeling pretty desperate and depressed about dating, considering what happened with the Marine. 

    Long story short: I got totally swept up in superficial chemistry with the Marine and I was treated like a piece of meat. I behaved the way twenty-year-old Victoria did (chasing faux-passionate, horny guys with reckless abandon) and unsurprisingly, I got the same disappointing, hurtful, and depressing results.

    Thankfully, I’ve since been feeling more optimistic about dating after a week of introspection and self-care. So on this episode of the Bachelorette, I want to share with you the latest update on the contestants for my heart!

    Here is a recap from last week’s episode:

    1. The dark, sexual/pervy, introvert without a social life and little family has been eliminated. He resumed school a few weeks ago and neither of us has reached out to each other.
    2. The insecure, angsty/poser guy who is also an aspiring chef continues to slide into my inbox in an attempt to make plans with me. He moved to Brooklyn recently though so I’m not particularly keen on making plans to meet with him, considering there are other people in close proximity to me that I actually have chemistry with.
    3. The very thoughtful and positive 31-year-old with a BA in psychology who works at Whole Foods and lives nearby: We went on a casual lunch date on Labor Day and I had a ton of fun with him, however, I am not attracted to him in any capacity. He continues to reach out to me and he has asked me out for a drink, but it’s hard to make plans with him because we have completely opposite work schedules. If possible, I’d like to hang out with him again but I doubt any romance will be blooming between us.
    4. The casual, friendly, local-to-my-area mechanic that actually lives in my town and goes to the gym I work at: I tried to make plans with him last Saturday but he ghosted me and has since been MIA.
    5. The random older guy that works in supply chain and wants to smoke and hang out at his place AKA fuck: Why did I even list him in the first place? Eliminated.

    There are more, newer contestants now, but none of them are particularly noteworthy at the moment. Well, except for one person.

    I am currently pretty interested in a mechanic from Iran. We’ve been corresponding for about two weeks, and he’s the only person I’ve connected with through Bumble so far. (All of the other candidates have been through the courtesy of OkCupid).

    The mechanic has completely different vibes than the Marine did, largely because, unlike my experience with the Marine, I’ve had control over the relationship. Plus, he’s considerate and sweet. Here are some examples:

    • The mechanic never asked for my number; I voluntarily gave it to him after some pleasant conversation.
    • I initiated Facetiming with him
    • He consistently texts me “good morning” and “goodnight” daily, without prompting
    • He doesn’t try to talk to me 24/7 and he’s not particularly flirty. Once in a blue moon, he’ll call me “cutie” or something subtly flirty, but that’s it.
    • The first time I called him, I wanted to speak to him only so he could listen to a story I wanted to share with my yoga class the following morning. When I woke up at 5am to teach that class, I noticed that he had sent me a thoughtful text about how my story-telling was great and how I was going to do a great job sharing the story with my class.
    • He has one of the deepest, smoothest voices I’ve ever heard. It’s a radio-quality voice. Considering how incredible his voice is, I thought it was ridiculous that the first thing he said to me was that my voice would be great for NPR. From listening to cringe-y recordings of my own voice, I objectively know that that’s untrue. Yet he is very adamant about how nice my voice is. 

    While there could be potential with this guy, it’s too soon to tell because we haven’t even met in person yet. I’m hoping to meet up with him this weekend or sometime the following week to see if the slow-burning chemistry and attraction exists face-to-face.

    In the meantime, however, I am working on prioritizing myself. As much as I want to connect with someone, the experience I had with the Marine made it evident that I need to connect with myself first. The fact that even after everything transpired with him, I still wanted to reach out to him, is severely concerning. I kept wondering what he wanted, what he needed…and at some point, my subconscious snapped at myself and loudly said, “Victoria, what do want?”

    I had completely stumped myself.

    Yeah, I had some ideas of what I wanted, but I was having such a hard time specifying and vocalizing them. I’ve since been able to accomplish this after writing, meditating, taking meditative asana classes, reading, spending quality time with my family and friends, and listening to uplifting podcasts.

    This is where I’m at now with “what I want,” which I’m no longer afraid to demand:

    I want to find someone that I have a deep connection with intellectually, emotionally, and physically. I want to feel excited about that person and I want the chemistry to be really strong…kind of addictive. I want to be magnetically attracted to one another. I want to go on dates and spend quality time with someone. I want someone with emotional intelligence and I want someone who completely respects me. I want to feel safe with this person before I choose to be physically intimate with them. But physical intimacy is not important to me right now…I can find that with anyone. I can’t find a deeper connection as easily, but that’s what I want. I want more.

    In one podcast I listened to last week about the Law of Attraction, I was reminded that once I stop wanting something, then I will get what I want. I will get what I want when I stop wanting it because when I stop wanting it, my vibrational frequency will match the frequency of already having what I want. Which means that what I want will no longer matter.

    A simple example of my confusing explanation is how I flowed effortlessly into my current full-time job. I asked the Universe for a job, and then I knew I was going to get it. This “knowing” caused me to stop focusing my energy on wanting a job, thus, my frequency matched the frequency of already having the job. It was then that the job seemingly fell into my lap not through my parents’ connections, not through other professional connections, but through my part-time yoga job.

    I’m not quite at the phase of “knowing” that I will find a compatible partner yet. Since my breakup in February, I continue to doubt the Universe’s plans for me, although the doubt certainly has lessened.

    I will leave you all with one more quote from the podcast:

    The Universe is not withholding from you and giving to another. – Jess Lively, The Lively Show

    We will all get what we need in due time. In the meantime, I am going to do my best to enjoy the journey.

    xx Vic

     

     

  • Speaking My Mind

    6 Months From Now

    Dear me,

    In the midst of uncertainty, I will make it through. I embrace uncertainty and I enjoy every moment of the journey. I trust my intuition’s guidance and I release fear.

    Six months from now, I will have attracted more abundance in my career. I will have been at my current job for a year and I will get a raise. My role will change as well because I’ll be given more responsibilities. I will be recognized for all of my hard work and I will reap the benefits of my work.

    Six months from now, I will have learned more as a yoga student and I will have brought those lessons into my classes, as a yoga teacher. I will have continued to grow and challenge myself to become a better teacher for my students. I will have evolved spiritually, and I will have become more connected with my intuition.

    Six months from now, all of my relationships will be positive. I will be demanding from others the respect I deserve, even if it’s uncomfortable to do so. The people that enter and stay in my life will be people that add value and love to my life. I am deserving of relationships that support me, are peaceful, and mutual.

    Six months from now, I will remember how I found the love I was initially seeking from others, within myself. I will reminisce about all of the love I’ve shown myself. I will delightfully recall the dates I’ve taken myself on, the gifts I’ve purchased just because they bring me joy, and most importantly, the kindness and compassion that I’ve overwhelmed my being with.

    Six months from now, I will recall all the ways in which I’ve nurtured self-love. That self-love will become part of who I am.

    Yours forever,

    Victoria

  • Speaking My Mind

    What is a 20-Something Suburban Girl to Do?

    I am done suffering. I have sufficiently grieved my last relationship, suffered through a premature attempt at being friends, and I am now done with that chapter of my romantic life. I want to mingle with people…perhaps go on a casual date or two.

    I’m still not ready- or at least I think I’m not ready- to be in a serious relationship, but that’s irrelevant now anyway. I’m not in a position where getting serious with someone is even an option.

    So…dating. I haven’t dated in over two years, and I forgot how terrible it is. I’ve only just grazed my toes over the dating pool and I’m already not enjoying it. I haven’t even waded in to my ankles yet!

    The toe-grazing began a few weeks ago.

    I was feeling quite depressed one day and thinking about how hopeless my romantic life was, when a guy from my previous campaign job randomly reached out to me. Initially I thought he was trying to network because he was asking me what I was up to professionally…but then he invited me to visit him in the city, and that’s when the alarms started going off.

    Why does he want to hang out with me? Did he ask me out on a date? Is he dangerous?

    While I had worked with him before, we had a strictly email relationship, thus, I had never met him in person. This made it even more unusual and a little scary that he wanted to meet up.

    I called a different coworker, one who I actually knew in person and who was also friends with this guy, to get the inside scoop on this potentially creepy guy. My coworker affirmed that this guy is simply very friendly and no, he’s not dangerous or creepy, but yes, it could be a date. He said there was only one way to find out.

    Well, I went to find out! My sister, her friend, and I all drove into the city and we met up with this guy and his friend. It ended up being a super fun, casual night of chatting and getting to know each other. We did a little bit of bar hopping and then called it a night around midnight.

    I surprised myself because after that night, I began to really like this guy. During the months following the infamous breakup, I thought I was closed-off to being attracted to someone, but my sudden attraction to this guy proved me otherwise. My hardened, bitter heart was not that bitter or hard after all.

    Then I did what most people with crushes do: text their crush and obsess over their text messages. We didn’t text much, and I did most of the reaching out, but he had sent me a selfie and told me that he “enjoyed me.” I was super excited about this crush.

    The excitement spanned about two weeks before my crush was crushed by reality.

    We met up a second-time, but this time we met halfway. The whole thing was set for disaster: we met up on a Wednesday after work, aka the most exhausting day and time for working professionals with 9-5, M-F jobs. Plus we had both driven through tons of traffic.

    Overall, we had a nice time, but it wasn’t quite as glamorous or as enthralling as the night out in the city. I also later realized that we weren’t on the same page. It wasn’t a casual date. It wasn’t a date at all. He wasn’t attracted to me, or maybe he wasn’t attracted to how far away I lived from the city.

    Nevertheless, this rejection was a disappointing discovery. Rejection, however, is unfortunately integral to the dating process. If I want to start wading back into the dating pool, all the rejections need to drip away rather than drown me.

    A podcast I was listening to today explored rejection’s role in growth.

    “Rejection is redirection to your soul’s highest evolvement.” – Sahara Rose, Highest Self Podcast ep. 212: Even Stuff That Sucks is Redirection

    While rejection isn’t necessarily a negative thing, it doesn’t immediately resolve the issue of loneliness or wanting to meet new people or wanting to go out on dates.

    So what is a twenty-something suburban girl to do?

    The answer, my dear readers, is return to the dreaded world of online dating. I’m a little embarrassed, but I have four dating apps downloaded on my phone now. I’ve only been using one lately, and it’s been causing me to cross my fingers in the hopes that the non-creepy-email-city guy will suddenly be a teeny bit interested in me. Long story short- online dating is a nightmare.

    Dating apps aside, I’ve also been hanging out with my friends and reaching out to people I haven’t seen or talked to in months or even years. These people I’ve lost touch with are solely friends, but it’s interesting to reconnect. Not quite as thrilling as a crush, but it’s thrilling enough.

    Do you have any tips for mingling/dating? Let me know in the comments!

    Xx Vic

  • Speaking My Mind

    Planted Seeds

    Good morning, everyone! Happy Friday!

    I apologize for my absence last week. Unfortunately, I came down with a cold on my first day of work, so when I wasn’t working, I was sleeping. I’m grateful to report that I feel significantly better and that I’m back to my regular self!

    Aside from being sick, the last few weeks have been insightful and exciting. Before I started my new job, I took advantage of being unemployed by going on small adventures.

    The first two days of the week, I subbed at my previous temp job so I got some extra spending cash for my adventures. On Wednesday, I went to my alma mater and ate lunch with my sister. Then I spontaneously had dinner with my ex. On Thursday, I caught up with my friends from my Europe travels. It’s always wonderful to see them. Friday, after teaching my AM yoga class, I went to the city with my sister. Because it was so nice out, we walked a ton, it was fantastic. Then on Saturday, I visited a friend’s new apartment and neighborhood. The area had such a LGBTQ/hipster environment, it was cool to experience. On top of everything, I subbed for a yoga instructor all weekend.

    I suspect all the adventures, plus subbing all the yoga classes, were taxing on my immune system, causing me to get sick. It was well worth it though.

    Last Monday, I began my new job! I’ve been enjoying it a lot. My boss is kind and supportive, my coworkers are lovely and helpful, and the work has been challenging and exciting. The only thing I’m having a bit of a difficult time with at this new job is the amount of sitting I do all day.

    I’ve worked in an office before, so it’s not like I’m completely unaccustomed to a desk job. However, the previous office I was at was larger, so important places like the bathroom, the printer, and the kitchen were further apart, thus I walked more. The office I’m at now is significantly smaller, so I take probably 10 steps total to either go to the makeshift kitchen, to get something from the printer, and to go to the bathroom. All the sitting causes me to feel antsy, so sometimes I stand at my desk while I work. Unfortunately, the desk is not accommodating for working while standing, so I can’t stand for very long. I may get something on Amazon to make my desk and thus my workspace more comfortable. And/or I may go on a brief walk during my lunch break. If you have suggestions or thoughts, please share in the comments!

    Another new thing going on in my life: last week I taught my first yin class at the local community center/gym I regularly teach at. I’m so grateful to have this opportunity to teach an additional class and to teach a different yoga discipline. I am continuing to research workshops to take to expand my knowledge so I can integrate it into my classes. I have one in particular that I most certainly want to do, it’s just a matter of finding the courage to register.

    That’s about it for me. A lot of new seeds have been planted before the Spring Equinox. I’m eager to see what blooms.

    xx Vic

     

     

  • Speaking My Mind

    Growing and Flowing

    You know how most of my blog posts for the past year have been about the devastating/depressing/frustrating/stressful process that is job-searching?

    Well, last weekend, that process came to an abrupt halt because I got two job offers! Yes. I got two job offers in one weekend.

    It was surreal! It still feels surreal! About a year of job-hunting has gone by without interest from any employer, despite the plethora of contacts that my parents have given me and despite utilizing recruiting agencies. Then, suddenly, I got two job offers in the same weekend. I felt like a hot commodity finding myself in a love triangle of job offers!

    Well, I accepted one of the job offers, and I begin on Monday.

    I’m genuinely excited about the job and I’m so grateful for how everything has panned out. The process has been grueling, but in hindsight, I can see that this is how it all was supposed to go. It all has flowed seamlessly, I just had to lean into the process rather than resist it. Before it felt like I was trudging through honey, but now I feel like I’m flowing with ease.

    So let’s dive right in into the two contenders for my heart in this love triangle, and then the Law of Attraction journey to landing the job!

    Contender 1: The Loyal and Reliable One

    One of the job offers actually came from my own contact through my yoga job. I wasn’t expecting my part-time yoga job to end up connecting me to a full-time professional job, but the Universe works in mysterious ways!

    Even how I got a yoga job was mysterious.

    Essentially, I was skeptical I was even going to have an opportunity to teach yoga. I didn’t have any relationships with yoga studios in my hometown and in my area, it’s difficult to get a yoga teaching job. Rejections both from yoga studios and from professional jobs were beginning to weigh me down, so on the drive to my last yoga audition at a community center, I vowed that I would put a hold on yoga job-hunting if it didn’t pan out.

    The last yoga audition I had was for a position not exactly at the most desirable hour (5:45am!), but my then-girlfriend insisted I go for it. I’m glad I did because I got offered the job offer right then and there!

    Months later, the community center has become a second home to me and it has provided me with grounding when I’ve been entirely off-kilter.

    They trained me in CPR and first-aid and they provided me with a membership as well, so I’ve been able to take yoga classes with others rather than doing yoga entirely by myself. Plus, I sub for other yoga teachers whenever I can, and I have challenged myself by trying other workouts as well, such as cycling, which I have come to love.

    My boss appreciates my contribution to the community and she has provided me with the opportunity to try teaching an additional yoga class on Sunday afternoons to see how it goes! This part-time yoga job has provided so much for me just in regards to yoga, but the story doesn’t end there!

    One Friday night there was a happy hour for instructors, and I attended despite my hesitation to go because I was exhausted. I’m eternally grateful I did attend because I ended up chatting with my boss and other instructors about my job-hunting woes and how my temp job was ending the following week, so I desperately needed a new job. Well, one of the instructors told her husband, who was looking for an employee, and then told my boss about it. My boss raved about me to her husband, who was looking for someone with more accounting experience than I have, but he ended up offering the job to me because of my relationship with my boss!

    Contender 2: The Mysterious One

    The second job offer I had was through Indeed, so the story isn’t as glamorous.

    Basically, my positive attitude and perspective that I’m continuously working on helped me land a job offer with the second contender. I know this because the owner of the company, who sat in during all the interviews, told me.

    The Law of Attraction Journey

    Obviously, I’ve been working really hard toward getting at least one job offer, but I strongly believe that I successfully harnessed the Law of Attraction in my favor too.

    During the month I was working at my temp job, I was reading a book that my wonderful then-girlfriend lent me about the Law of Attraction. One of the ideas detailed in the book was to ask the Universe directly for what you want by pretending you are placing an order. When you order something online or in a restaurant, you don’t order it again because you know you are going to get it. You don’t think about it again either, except to maybe visualize receiving it and to be excited about whatever it is you ordered.

    One day, I decided to try this idea. I wrote in my journal the things that I wanted in a job and then I wrote “I have asked and now I believe that I have already received. I have placed my order and I’m experiencing it now.”

    Below is my “order:”

    • I want to be in a company where I can grow
    • I want to have a routine and enjoy my coworkers
    • I want to be challenged without being excessively stressed
    • I want to be close enough to home (for now)
    • I want to feel excited about my job
    • I want to build a community
    • I want to be able to work from home and I want generous PTO
    • I want to be able to continue to pursue my passions (yoga teaching, writing, etc)
    • I want to be paid fairly
    • I want to have reasonable hours
    • I want to have a social life outside of work
    • I want to travel on my PTO and invest in a car/an apartment
    • I want to save for retirement and buy stocks
    • I want a benefits package

    When I thought about job-hunting again, instead of regarding it as a dreadful, tiresome experience as I have been for the last year or so, I thought “I ordered a job, and I’m going to get it. It’s on its way.”

    This thinking allowed me to relax a bit and not be so hard on myself. I focused instead on raising my vibration and feeling joy.

    During my last week at my temp job, however, I was upset that everything in my life seemed to be ending. The temp job and my relationship with my girlfriend had come to a close, and my future felt incredibly uncertain.

    That changed a few days later when my supervisor asked me about working an extra two days after I was technically done. A few days and job interviews later, and I got two job offers as well!

    I spent the weekend weighing pros and cons to both jobs with my family, and then I opted for the job I got through my yoga job. I believe this position aligns with my “order” well, although both offers did. Anyway, I am so excited about this job and I’m excited to see how this opportunity will challenge me and allow me to grow.

    Evidently, I’ve learned so much from this process, and I will undoubtedly continue to learn more when I start working. I can’t wait to share it all!

    So, the main takeaway: grow and flow, flow and grow.

    xx Vic

     

  • Speaking My Mind

    Rise and Grind!

    The title of this post makes me laugh.

    In all seriousness though, it is true. I rise before the sun does and I sleep well after it has fallen. This is primarily because I got a temporary full-time job!

    I’ve actually been enjoying both the job and the grinding. It may be a little odd to be excited about joining the rat race as well as working a conventional 9-5 (it’s actually, 8:30-5:30pm…the grinding is real), but it’s true. I love it. I love working consistent, normal hours, going to the same place every day, seeing the same people…I’m not even being sarcastic. It’s such a nice shift from attending a large university where there was tons of volatility in your schedule, working a campaign job which had weird hours, and then being unemployed since November.

    So yes, I’m finally in motion!

    I’m unsure how long I will have this role, so I’ve continued my job search. Thus, when I’m not working, I’m job hunting, interviewing, and completing surveys for interviews. It’s been a little intense. I can’t wait to get a full-time job and be able to spend my free time reading. The only reading I’ve had the energy to do lately has been through Audible, which is better than not reading at all. In fact, thanks to Audible, I’ll be finished with Pride and Prejudice soon!

    Anyway, the job itself is good. It’s not my “dream job,” but I’ve learned to express gratitude and to practice Santosha, or contentment. I’ve written about my realization that I need to find Santosha before, but I’ve noticed that I need to find it again. It all started on the second day of the job…

    I was feeling bummed out because the work is not mentally stimulating. There’s nothing wrong with the job, but it is very boring most days. The dullness allows my mind to wander and to partake in my favorite activity: comparing myself to everyone else. (This time, I’m being sarcastic. The comparison-trap leads to my self-destruction).

    My thoughts became consumed with Wow, I could have a career job right now, but instead I’m just answering phones and My friends have benefits, and I’m only getting paid hourly. Unsurprisingly, these self-pitying thoughts ruined my second day of work. After that, I realized that in order to not be miserable every day, and the only way to get as much as I can out of this experience, I have to change my perspective. That’s when I remembered Santosha, one of the Niyamas in Yoga philosophy. While practicing contentment, I realized that this is where the Universe wants me to be right now because the Universe totally conspired to get me this job.

    First of all, I had an interview for this job back in…late November I believe, and I got the interview through a job agency. I went to the interview already resistant to the job, which was probably why I never got an offer. I was exuding all this negative energy to the Universe that I didn’t want a job offer for this position because I deemed that the job was beneath me. Now I know better than to judge a job so harshly, especially when I’m unemployed.

    After that interview, I continued my bleak job search for months with the help of the temp agency. Then the holidays came around, I took the GRE, and I spend much-needed time with my sister who was home for break. Around the time my sister was preparing to return to school, I became antsier than I already was to get a job.

    Then in January, I had a job interview through the temp agency for a job that seemed perfect. I willed the Universe to let me have it from the beginning too.

    Well, the day I was supposed to hear back about the “desirable job,” I got a call from the agency about the job I had interviewed for back in November. Something hadn’t worked out with the person that they had hired and they needed a temp until they found someone externally. I was excited to have a job offer, even though it wasn’t the job that I wanted initially. Unlike last time, I wanted to accept it.

    Before I committed, I called up the other recruiter to find out if I got the “desirable job.” Well, surprise, I didn’t get it, so I accepted this job that I now have!

    This position was initially temp to permanent, but now that they want to hire externally, it’s just temporary. The fact that it was initially temp to perm frightened me because I didn’t want to be so committed to a mundane job, but now that it’s just temporary, I’ve been able to relax and really enjoy myself. Additionally, I’m working in an industry related to the field I want to be in, I’m interacting daily with people in this field, and I’m able to learn from them and network with them.

    Aside from full-time job stuff, I’m still teaching yoga and I’m loving it. I want to update you all soon on some new things I’ve learned as a teacher! That’ll be another post though.

    While I’m working full-time, I decided to post only once a week on Sunday mornings. If time permits, I’ll post during the week too. I’ll play it by ear.

    If you made it this far, thanks for reading 🙂

    xx Vic

     

%d bloggers like this: