I am scrapping New Year’s Resolutions this year! This is not because I don’t have any goals; I absolutely do have aspirations. Some of them include items from last year’s Resolutions, and I have new goals as well.
Instead of creating a checklist of things to accomplish in 2020, I want to focus on how I want to feel. There are two reasons for this new approach:
- I cannot fathom all that I will want to accomplish in 2020, and I don’t want to limit myself to only what I am able to dream up right now.
- In 2019, I’ve been playing with “feeling good” to attract my desires, and I want to continue to grow this practice. The two biggest successful outcomes of this practice are obtaining my full-time job and meeting my partner.
Prior to these two particular experiences, I suffered through months of grief, depression, worry, and doubt. I don’t expect to never struggle or to never experience negative emotions, however, I do expect myself to have more confidence, love, and compassion for myself, especially when life is difficult. I also expect myself to be more optimistic and positive about my future rather than allowing worry and stress consume me.
I found this lovely quote that captures how I want to feel in 2020 rather well:
“We’re asking you to trust in the Well-being. In optimism there is magic. In pessimism there is nothing. On positive expectation, there is thrill and success. In pessimism or awareness of what is not wanted, there is nothing…
We do not ask you to see something that is not and pretend that it is. What we ask you to do is practice moving your gaze. Practice changing your perspective. Practice talking to different people. Practie going to new places.
We want you to feel familiar in your joy. Familiar in your positive expectation, familiar in your knowing that all is well, because the Universe will knock itself out giving you evidence of that Well-being once you find that place…
There is great love here for you. We are complete.”
-Abraham Hicks – 12/22/2019
So, below I listed areas of my life that I want to envision how I want to feel about them in 2020 and beyond. If you want to try this approach for the new decade with me, please consider how you want to feel about these areas, and share them with me in the comments below:
How do I want to feel in my career?
I want to be mentally stimulated in my career. I am open to changing career-paths, as long as I continue to feel thrilled by my work. I want to look forward to going to work, I want to enjoy the work I do, and I want to enjoy the company of my colleagues and supervisors. I want to be acknowledged for my hard work. I want more responsibility because I want to grow in my career. I want a raise so I can have more money for retirement, for living expenses, for savings, and to share with others.
In regards to my Yoga career, I want to feel as though I have an abundance of knowledge to share with my students. I want to feel confident in my knowledge and I want to fearlessly share my wisdom. I want my devotedness to my Yoga practice be reflected in my teachings. I want to be connected with my students. I want to feel aligned and energized while teaching. I want to feel fulfilled after instructing.
How do I want to continue to feel in my relationship with my partner?
I want to be loved, cherished, respected, and considered. I want to be a team with my partner. I want to feel secure and stable while continuing to be surprised and excited. I want to trust my partner and in the relationship. I want to feel confident about the connection that we have. I want to feel supported in my aspirations and I want to make him feel that way too. I want to grow and expand together.
How do I want to feel in my relationship with my family and friends?
I want to feel like I can communicate openly and honestly with my family and friends. I want to be comfortable and unapologetic being true to myself. I want to feel safe being vulnerable with my friends and family. I want to feel connected with the people in my life.
How do I want to feel about myself?
I want to trust my choices and find freedom in them. I don’t want to be attached. I want to be healthy and strong. I want to be compassionate and loving toward myself. I want to feel relaxed, stable, supported, self-sufficient, and secure in my own being. I want to be connected to my inner wisdom and harmonious with my intuition. I want to be imaginative and intentional. I want to be selfless, spiritual, devoted, and disciplined. Lastly, I want to find more stillness and I want to create more space for myself.
How do I want to feel overall in 2020?
I want to flow with complete ease. I want to radiate joy in everything that I do. I want to relax and allow. I want to remain open to change and possibilities. I want to overcome hardships and navigate difficult emotions with love. I want to feel powerful and find bliss in my trust in the Universe.
See you all in 2020.
My frequency has changed since I started dating again, and I’ve attracted what I wanted.
By “frequency,” I mean the magnetic energy I am putting out into the Universe based on how I feel every day. My frequency, affects the people, events, and circumstances I attract.
When I started dating, I was tired of grieving my last relationship, I was bored with the monotonous routine of working full-time, and I wanted to meet people. I was feeling rather desperate to switch my day-to-day up, so the people I was meeting were also desperate. They wanted to rush into intimacy and I didn’t connect with them very well.
I didn’t realize I was attracting the same type of people until I put myself into a reckless, dangerous situation. It was unfortunate that it even had to come to that, but it was that event that forced me to take several steps back and examine exactly how I was feeling.
I realized that I was seeking validation in the form of shallow flattery from strangers. I also realized that the reason I was texting six people at a time was because I focused on having someone to talk to every day, even if those people were creepy and even if we didn’t connect.
Since these desires were coming from feelings of lack (I will never find someone that treats me how I deserve to be treated), my frequency was low and thus, the people that came into my life were in my life were unsurprisingly not treating me well. The superficial connections I had with these people often led to rejections, which unfortunately hurt me quite a bit.
After my epiphany, I didn’t stop dating. Instead, I decided what I was ultimately looking for, if not immediately, in the future.
I want to find someone that I have a deep connection with intellectually, emotionally, and physically. I want to feel excited about that person and I want the chemistry to be really strong…kind of addictive. I want to be magnetically attracted to one another. I want to go on dates and spend quality time with someone. I want someone with emotional intelligence and I want someone who completely respects me. I want to feel safe with this person before I choose to be physically intimate with them. But physical intimacy is not important to me right now…I can find that with anyone. I can’t find a deeper connection as easily, but that’s what I want. I want more.
Once I decided what I wanted, I became more particular about the types of people I went out with, and I took better care of myself.
Aside from yoga and writing, my self-care routine has included referring to myself with endearments, wearing glamorous stick-on nails, creating a retirement savings account and prioritizing my finances, reading more, ensuring that I spend time with people who care about me, and discovering ways in which I can be enough for myself.
Learning to be enough for oneself is a long process, and it’s a continuous one because one’s needs change over time. It’s a process I’ve been committed to doing for years, however, sometimes I forget, or choose to forget, about prioritizing myself. Instead of beating myself up for my own neglect, I simply decided to choose myself again.
A recent example was after a few weekends of back-to-back dates, I was super burned out from constantly introducing myself to people. To remedy this, I opted to cancel the date I had planned with the lawyer in favor of spending quality time with my sister and most importantly, with myself. Considering my decision to prioritize myself, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the connection I have with the lawyer is so wonderful.
“When you are on a feeling frequency of love, then only people who are on the same feeling frequency as you are can come into your life.” -Rhonda Byrne, The Power (The Secret Book 2)
When I wrote my last blog post, I was primarily like ha ha, I am Charlotte York! and I did not consider my shift in frequency at all. Here I am now, however, unable to not notice it.
It wasn’t until a few days ago that I became aware that my frequency must’ve changed. What caused me to even notice it was that I was constantly asking my friends and myself how I’ve managed to meet a super lovely lawyer on a dating app. It still completely baffles me that he is in fact, a real person and that he is also super into me.
I’ve only been going out with this guy for about a month…so everything is still exciting, new, happy, etc, but we have a surprisingly good connection. We are never short on conversation, which is why we’re constantly texting and why we stay up well past our bedtimes every night on the phone. We enjoy spending time together so much that we planned dates a month from now.
In addition to our natural chemistry, he treats me exactly how I want to be treated. He’s respectful of my boundaries, he’s patient, understanding, gentlemanly, and generous. He’s honest and he communicates extremely well. He’s been clear about his intentions with me and he trusts me enough to have confided in me a little bit. He doesn’t play games and he makes me feel wanted. Most importantly, we’re both having a ton of fun getting to know each other.
So…I’m unsure where this unexpected development is going, but I’m going to relax and allow it all to happen. So far, I’ve primarily been overthinking everything because he seems way too good to be true, but…he is true, at least so far. Besides, even if it all goes to shit, I’d like to take the risk.
While dating and romance is an enthralling development, I’d love there to be growth in the career/higher-education aspect of my life. I’ve been reading a new-age philosophy book lately, and this particular quote resonated with me:
“Even if you don’t know what you want to do in your life, all you have to do is give love through good feelings, and you will magnetize everything you love to yourself. Your feelings of love will lead you to your purpose. Your dream job is on the frequency of love and to receive it, you just have to get yourself there.” -Rhonda Byrne, The Power (The Secret Book 2)
There is so much growth and potential in multiple areas of my life. We’ll see what else is in store for me.
In the midst of uncertainty, I will make it through. I embrace uncertainty and I enjoy every moment of the journey. I trust my intuition’s guidance and I release fear.
Six months from now, I will have attracted more abundance in my career. I will have been at my current job for a year and I will get a raise. My role will change as well because I’ll be given more responsibilities. I will be recognized for all of my hard work and I will reap the benefits of my work.
Six months from now, I will have learned more as a yoga student and I will have brought those lessons into my classes, as a yoga teacher. I will have continued to grow and challenge myself to become a better teacher for my students. I will have evolved spiritually, and I will have become more connected with my intuition.
Six months from now, all of my relationships will be positive. I will be demanding from others the respect I deserve, even if it’s uncomfortable to do so. The people that enter and stay in my life will be people that add value and love to my life. I am deserving of relationships that support me, are peaceful, and mutual.
Six months from now, I will remember how I found the love I was initially seeking from others, within myself. I will reminisce about all of the love I’ve shown myself. I will delightfully recall the dates I’ve taken myself on, the gifts I’ve purchased just because they bring me joy, and most importantly, the kindness and compassion that I’ve overwhelmed my being with.
Six months from now, I will recall all the ways in which I’ve nurtured self-love. That self-love will become part of who I am.
Now that it’s May (how is it May already?!), I would like to take a moment to reflect on my goals for 2019. Below is where I am at in my 2019 aspirational list.
Top 10 Goals for 2019
1. Allot weekly yoga studying time – I was doing this…then I stopped. I am going to be doing some yoga workshops though.
2. Establish a consistent meditation practice, at least weekly – Always a work in progress. However, my boss has introduced me to a local Buddhist meditation center that I now visit.
3. Plan and execute a chakra yoga class series for the spring – May not happen until the fall?
4. Research and book a yoga workshop/training for late 2019/2020 – This is happening!
5. Confidently making decisions! (Such as for grad school) – I have been actively working on trusting my inner voice.
6. Integrate cardio at least weekly into my routine – Thanks to my yoga job, I have definitely been integrating cardio via a cycling class. I love the community and I love cycling!
7. Work daily on a long-term writing project – I’ve been in a rut lately so writing has taken a back burner unfortunately.
8. Continue to maintain this blog and begin planning how to expand it – I am maintaining this space but I’m not expanding it…I don’t think expanding it is my goal. I just want to be creative more frequently.
9. Complete the rest of the half-read books that I have. – I have finished several half-read books, such as Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice. I had an affinity for older literature for a few months ago.
10. Create a ritual for my ancestors – This still needs to happen
What I’d like to focus on at least until the Summer Solstice is creative writing. I’ve been reading so many books lately and I’ve been inspired by all of them, but I haven’t been taking the next step, which is to use my inspiration! I think I just need to find a better balance between reading and writing.
I feel that way with yoga too. I spend most days practicing asanas, but I need to integrate more studying of Yoga philosophy. Initially, I thought I needed to improve my sequencing to become a better teacher, but currently I think I need to explore spirituality.
Now I invite you to take this opportunity between the Spring Equinox and the Summer Solstice to realign and refocus. Are you on the track to achieving any goals? Have you neglected some goals? Have your desires for 2019 changed?
Let me know in the comments below!
Hello, everyone and welcome back to my blog!
I unintentionally took a longer-than-expected break from posting on my blog. In fact, I hadn’t planned to take a break at all, but due to the excessive pressure I was putting on myself to write as well as all of the craziness that is inherent to the holiday season, I went on a break. I’m glad I am returning now that I naturally feel inspired to write.
During my time away from my blog, I took the GRE, celebrated a stressful version of Christmas, became absorbed by a romance novel series, and relaxed with my friends and my girlfriend. I’m quite relieved that the holiday season is wrapping up and I’m eager to embark on a new year!
Anyway, I wanted to write a bit about my goals for 2019. Before I share them though, you can check out my post about my goals from 2018! Below are additional goals I had for 2018 that were written in a private journal.
- Save money
- Invest in myself: blog
- Challenge myself: perform
- Be creative: crochet and write
- Get published!
- Apply for PhD
- YTT + teach! (500hrs in 5 years?)
I’m proud to have accomplished many of my goals for 2018 such as graduating from college, writing a killer thesis, investing in myself, challenging myself, and exploring my creativity more.
There are a few aspirations from 2018 that I’m still working on though, such as getting a job and applying to grad school. Additionally, some of the items on that list are long-term goals, such as getting published and completing 500 hours of yoga teacher training.
This year, for 2019, I have decided to approach my list differently: I have created resolutions that are short-term oriented, so I can actually accomplish them all in one year. These aspirations break down my longer-term goals into smaller, feasible tasks that ultimately serve as the foundation for the long-term goals I had created in 2017.
Top 10 Goals for 2019
- Allot weekly yoga studying time
- Establish a consistent meditation practice, at least weekly
- Plan and execute a chakra yoga class series for the spring
- Research and book a yoga workshop/training for late 2019/2020
- Confidently making decisions! (Such as for grad school)
- Integrate cardio at least weekly into my routine
- Work daily on a long-term writing project
- Continue to maintain this blog and begin planning how to expand it
- Complete the rest of the half-read books that I have.
- Create a ritual for my ancestors
I’ll definitely be keeping you all updated on my 2019 endeavors. I’m feeling quite optimistic about them.
What are your aspirations for 2019? Please share them below!
- Move out of state
- Take a trip
- Choose a grad school program
- Apply to a grad school program
- Light a match
- Drive on the highway
- Chant more
- Be confident
- Be positive
- Introduce more “yogic” things to my yoga class
- Write a book
- Develop my own business
- Make malas
- Reconnect with mentors
- Pursue my passions, even if I’m uncertain where they will lead
What does your list look like?
I never particularly liked Demi Lovato. It’s not that I hated her or anything, I just didn’t understand the hype around her because I never listened much to her story. But after being exposed to her by my best friend from high school and my ex, I’ve grown to truly admire and respect her, and lately I’ve been listening to her music for inspiration and empowerment.
As I’ve written before, I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to college life. Things are getting better for the most part but there are still moments when I’m just like “I don’t belong here,” “What am I doing?,” “Why can’t things be like they used to be?,” and “I want to go home.”
the quietness envelops me as i’m sitting here alone strewn out to sea
i go back and forth with the waves up and down as my mind craves
unstable and emotionally dependent god i’m disgusting i’ve had enough i’m fed up
i want to end this attempt at psychological suicide that bears a heavy burden on my mind
i’m happy yeah i’m fine
but then the waves come crashing down i hear the roars in my ears
i cannot deal i cannot heal
with these thoughts swirling and
how can i make lasting relationships if i’m so pessimistic if i’m so hateful so self-loathing
so i turn to something like myself i turn to something distasteful
scrolling through the mounds of flesh they all look the same and ultimately i’m no better than before
i want i need i’m desperate for something more
i can’t remember why i loved her why i liked her why i loved him
heck i cannot even remember what it was like to feel something so overpowering that i could lose all rationality and only feel
so numb so dumb no fun is how i live how i try to live how i can only deal
and it’s so surreal it hurts although i claim to be healed
when it comes to stumbling across old messages to stumbling across old messes to stumbling across her
when i’m walking with my head facing the ground facing the floor
but tripping is to be expected when i’m not paying attention
because i’m always distracted by my thoughts of wanting more