I’ve become the Charlotte York of the suburbs.
It’s amusing to me that I resonate with this character from Sex and the City because I found her to be one of the least likable characters in the show, particularly during the first few seasons. It drove me crazy how much of a hopeless romantic she was and how she craved male chauvinism.
I don’t know if I would consider myself a hopeless romantic, but I do prefer romance and emotional intimacy to one-night-stands and hookups. I also don’t know if I’m looking for true romance right now. At the moment, I mostly want to just put myself out there, meet new people, and have fun.
The ways in which I’ve been identifying with her lately are mostly in regards to how her dating life unfolds. There is an episode of Sex and the City when Charlotte goes on two dates in one day and well…one Saturday about a month ago, I somehow managed to coordinate not two dates, but three dates in one day.
Date #1: 3pm in a hipster town
The first date was with a guy who works in engineering management. We ate lunch, drank craft beer, and then enjoyed a spontaneous street-fair with live music.
He’s twenty-five and super sweet. He was interested in all my yoga stuff and asked me a ton of questions, which I appreciated because yoga is a significant part of my life. I don’t think he’s the most knowledgeable about issues that I care about, but he is open-minded and seems to be compassionate.
We actually went on a second date a few weeks ago. We explored different parks in the city, then went on a mini dage bar-crawl. It was a ton of fun, albeit incredibly exhausting since we walked nearly 10 miles.
While I enjoy his company, I don’t know if he’s attracted to me. He’s kept things extremely platonic, which on one hand I don’t mind because I don’t want to feel pressured and I also don’t want to get seriously involved with anyone right now. On the other hand, however, I would enjoy a little physical intimacy.
We sat beside each other a few times at bars in the city, and although I turned myself to face him, he continued to sit straight ahead. So…I don’t know if anything will transpire between us. Currently, however, I regard him the same way I regard my best guy friend. This guy would be a great traveling companion and he’s easy to be with, but the connection may end there.
Date #2: 7:30pm at a trendy bar
The second date was with a thirty-year-old guy from India. He has been in the US since high school and he works for a pharmaceutical tech company. He informed me that his last two relationships were three to four years long, thus, he is only looking fun.
We got one drink and talked for a few hours. He wasn’t as inquisitive about me as the first guy was, which suited me fine because I was tired of talking about myself after the first date. Notably, however, this guy was turned toward me the entire time we hung out, but nothing physical happened aside from a “goodbye” hug. For a first encounter, I appreciated it, but I think he’d be totally receptive to more, which is cool.
Date #3: 11pm at a local diner
On the way home from the second date at 9pm, I felt a pang of hunger. I totally fucked myself up by eating a late lunch on the first date. The Whole Foods guy happened to text me taco emojis while I was driving, so I called him up and asked if he wanted to meet for dinner. He had conveniently just gotten out of work so we met up at a local diner for a bit. We ate, chatted, and then parted ways. It was fun, but yeah, I just want to be friends with him.
Then, a few weeks later, I embraced my inner Charlotte a little more.
One Saturday night, I went out with a 30-year-old lawyer. He happens to be a cancer AKA the sun sign that I have been having strong magnetic attractions with lately. We had been talking for about three weeks and we were supposed to meet three weeks prior, but we had to reschedule a few times.
To compensate for all of the reschedulings, we spoke on the phone a few times and we texted each other a lot. More than I usually text people. The texting got a little out of hand because a majority of our correspondence was while we were both at work. Through our conversations, however, we seemed to have a decent amount of chemistry, so I was excited to meet him in person to see if the chemistry was genuine.
As it turned out, the connection was strong in person. Conversation flowed easily and his entire body was turned toward me at every bar we went to.
I find him to be sweet, interesting, fun, smart…lots of lovely qualities. We had a great first date, which included a sorta mini bar crawl (apparently this is the type of date that I prefer), and we walked around a bunch.
This particular date causes me to feel like Charlotte because, in later seasons, she starts dating a lawyer who isn’t her type because he’s “bald and sweaty,” but she totally falls for him. He was into her from the beginning and he completely sweeps her off her feet.
This guy isn’t bald and sweaty, but he’s not exactly my “type” either…or he’s not someone I would’ve been attracted to in the past. But so far, he treats me very well and I just…like him a lot. It’s surprising to me.
I’m not alone in feeling surprised and intrigued by the attraction. He asked me out for the following Saturday. Saturday couldn’t come soon enough though, so I asked him to go see the new Joker movie with me on Friday night too. It was an awesome date-filled weekend.
On Friday, I brought a blanket and we cuddled as well as we could considering the barrier between our seats. We began to make out after the Joker finally snapped and as bombs exploded on screen. The people next to us probably thought we were sadistic.
On Saturday, we grabbed food and went to a few bars. Then we made out like teenagers in my car for over an hour, almost killing my car battery.
I’ve been having so much fun with him and I feel like we connect really well, so he may stick around for a bit. We shall see…
I’m finally continuing the long-awaited OOTD series! I’ve coordinated many outfits that I love since the last post I did, so I decided to organize them by color so I don’t overwhelm you all with my many looks.
I’m beginning with red, the first color of the rainbow and the first color of the chakras in Yoga philosophy. This post also includes two orange outfits, which are representative of the second chakra.
Side note- I finally began teaching the chakra yoga classes I’ve wanted to do since New Year’s on Friday!
Anyway, below are the looks. Enjoy!
1. Red Stripes and Bells
This was an early-spring/end-of-winter look, and I think it packs a ton of attitude. The shirt was my mom’s and the skirt is an oldie from Forever 21.
These are my favorite Marc Fisher boots!! It is also my favorite birthday purchase #23
The necklace is a hand-me-down from my mom, and the earrings are alien spaceships I got from Hot Topic.
I love this kimono I got from Target. It totally elevates any outfit I pair it with.
My comfy grey dress was my mom’s and it’s by a young Russian designer that I found through Teen Vogue when I was in middle school. I honestly don’t know if she still designs or if her store in Manhattan is still there.
I got my shoes on clearance! They are Franco Sarto and they’re very comfy. I love the silver heel and how unique the color is. It’s like an orange-y red.
I got my turquoise necklace from a Native American store in the Grand Canyon. It is my favorite purchase from traveling to Las Vegas a few years ago. My earrings were a gift from my mom.
My blue beaded bracelet is a gift from my mom when she visited my grandma in Puerto Rico. I always ask her to bring me back jewelry when she visits because I love funky jewelry, especially when it’s handmade by someone who shares my heritage.
3. Orange Orange
I was really vibing with the color orange the day I put this together lol
In the chakras, the color orange is related to sexuality and creativity. Perhaps these things were a little heightened for me.
Anyway, the sweater was my mom’s and it’s a perfect sweater for autumn because of its soft, warm browns. My shirt was probably less than $10 on clearance from Old Navy. My pants are from Kohl’s young professional collection.
Here’s my look without the sweater!
My shoes are Indigo Red and they’re so comfy and cute!
My necklace says “She Believed She Could” on one side, and the other side says “So She Did.” It was a graduation gift from my mom last May.
My earrings are a gift from my mom from her latest trip to Puerto Rico.
My eyeshadow look was created using Tarte’s Toasted palette I got for the holidays.
My bracelet was also from Puerto Rico.
4. Be Mine, Clementine
This shirt was a gift from my mom when she went to Anthropology with my sister for my sister’s 21st birthday. Considering how expensive that store is, the shirt isn’t great quality. I am pretty sure it shrunk after washing it once, and that’s without drying it. Thankfully I got it in a big enough size so that it still fits. Otherwise, I love the shirt. It’s very fun and summery.
My skirt was my mom’s and it’s a perfect casual skirt for work because it’s denim yet it’s about knee-length.
My earrings are the same as above. My necklace was a stone that my late-grandma had collected, which was then transformed into a necklace.
I love these shoes.
Both of my bracelets are handmade from Puerto Rico <3
What was your favorite look? Let me know in the comments below!
Also, stay tuned for the yellow and green looks!
My birthday was on the seventh of this month, which was a Monday. It sucked that my twenty-first was on a Monday, but because it was on a less than ideal day, my birthday wasn’t just a day, but a birthday week!
I woke up Monday ready to slay the world. I’ve been watching Arrow lately (it’s excellent if you haven’t checked it out) and I was particularly entranced by Helena. She was the mob leader’s daughter and was bad to the bone as well as wealthy. So my birthday look was inspired by her.
I’m a little nervous for tonight.
Tonight I have a very casual, informal date. It’s not really a date..I’m not sure what it is. It’s with a woman though.
My best friend at college, Tatiana,* is amazing. She understands that I don’t want to hang out with the guy I mentioned in my previous post. He usually texts me but he’s stopped because he’s fucking other women, which proves he was only talking to me because I was willing to hook up with him. We were never friends, and we’re not friends now.
Anywho, she understands how I feel about him, and she knows how I want to connect more with her boyfriend because he’s super cool, so she brought us all together to go out to eat dinner and then party. I had so much fun, I got super drunk. We all took our shirts off and we were dancing on each other and it was just a ton of fun. I ended up going home with them because I was too drunk to navigate my way back home. Tatiana passed out and her boyfriend and I talked about the guy that they’re both best friends with and that has only made me feel like garbage, because he wanted to know what was going on. It was a great conversation, despite both of us being super drunk. Having that conversation caused me to want to do some snooping on my ex. My drunken logic was if she could treat me poorly and find love, then there is hope for me too, although it’s taking a hella long time for someone to come around.
The next day, Tatiana came home with me for spring break. She only spent Friday night at my house before flying back home to California. We went out to eat dinner because she’s vegetarian and I didn’t tell my mom, so my mom was ill prepared to feed her. My old job has very good black bean burgers, so we went there. I hadn’t been there in about eight months or so. The last time I worked there, only two people from the “original squad” were still working there, so I didn’t think I would see anyone I knew. Well, I was mistaken because the first person I saw when my friend and I strolled in was my ex. She was taking orders at the register.
my blue lips stain your pillowcase
that’s covered in my twisted, stray strands
i stare down into your beautiful face
tracing it with my cold, shaking hands
you see, you’ve been making laps around my mind
your long legs making great strides
or better yet, with my legs, intertwined
you have my mind preoccupied
you make me glow
and my cheeks are always sore from laughing
do you want me, though?
i’m afraid what we have could quickly come down, crashing
and i don’t want that
until you, i didn’t think my heart was capable of pitter-pattering anymore
ever since my veins had been cut and frayed
my heart still isn’t quite healed from the war
but i’m trying to be unafraid
of feeling this way for you
i hope you want “us” to go somewhere too
© 2016 Vic Romero
~Happy New Year! I hope y’all are doing well, blog coming soon! xx
My internship is coming to a close today and I’m already a little sad about it. I wasn’t expecting to be sad because I thought I would dislike it because 1) I’m working with kids, and I don’t particularly like kids and 2) these kids experience things that I have never had to. For example, some of them may be/have been/or will be recruited to join a gang. They may have had personal exposure to violence and drugs. An officer came in to talk to me and the other counselors during our training about how some of them may have tattoos, despite the oldest of them being fourteen. I felt unprepared to handle situations I may encounter with these kids, but instead it’s been great!
Over a year ago, I dealt with a very traumatizing situation as a result of wanting to date someone my parents disapproved of. Since that time, my family and I have not discussed nor acknowledged nor accepted my sexuality. Everything is great in my family as long as I suppress who I am.
Yesterday, I had a very triggering encounter with my mom that was very reminiscent of last year’s traumatizing experience though.
I had a really great Friday because I got trashed and danced Friday night away with my best friends.
My friends and I don’t party too frequently, nor are we serious partiers. I’m usually the only one that gets drunk, and sometimes I don’t even get drunk.
This Friday was especially fun though, compared to last weekend.
I rolled over in bed and smiled at her sleeping face. I had worn her out with all my chatter about nothing and everything, as we gorged on chocolate and poisoned ourselves with alcohol. Now, at 3:30am, she was finally sleeping. Her breathing was calm and slow, and her hands were clutching my blankets to her chest.
I turned away from her and closed my swollen eyes, feeling grateful that I had this kind of love in my life. It wasn’t romantic, but it was just as sweet.
© 2015 Vic Romero