Finals are in about a week and a half now, and I’m actually not stressed out. Or maybe I’m just in denial.
But seriously, it doesn’t take much to get me stressed out and you’d think since these are my first finals that I’d be losing it, much like how I was when it came to midterms. I’m not losing it though! I’m actually okay…really exhausted but I’m doing okay…maybe even great!
The wind whips my hair back as I gaze at everything below me. From my nearly aerial view, I can observe all my accomplishments, my struggles, and my failures. In the past, some of those struggles and failures seemed daunting, but I’ve somehow found the strength within me to overcome them and to get where I am now.
I stand on the brink of what was and what will be…I’m able to see my past clearly now but the road ahead remains foggy. I only took one bag from my past with me, and it’s relatively heavy since some of my previous struggles continue to burden me…but maybe once I continue my climb, up high into the future, I’ll be able to get rid of them. My bag is not just heavy with burdensome things, it’s also brimming with relationships and memories that I grip onto in order to remember my roots and keep me grounded as I conquer my future.
The brink is a scary place to be…it’s so easy to just fall off of the rocky cliff and back into familiarity…but familiarity can’t ever be the same because naturally everything changes. Conversely to falling, climbing is difficult because it’s physically and mentally exhausting…your footing may slip on the crumbling rocks as you scale the unpaved path in order to find your destiny…but when you make it to the top, or to the next brink, it’s quite rewarding.
I pick up a pebble that’s by my foot and toss it into my past below me…I can’t see or hear it land because I’m too high up, and I’m determined to climb higher.
Maybe I’ll visit soon…use my parachute and float back to familiarity…but it’ll only be a short visit. I have goals to accomplish.
© 2014 Vic Romero
**image from Google
I never particularly liked Demi Lovato. It’s not that I hated her or anything, I just didn’t understand the hype around her because I never listened much to her story. But after being exposed to her by my best friend from high school and my ex, I’ve grown to truly admire and respect her, and lately I’ve been listening to her music for inspiration and empowerment.
As I’ve written before, I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to college life. Things are getting better for the most part but there are still moments when I’m just like “I don’t belong here,” “What am I doing?,” “Why can’t things be like they used to be?,” and “I want to go home.”
This week was awesome. This weekend was especially awesome.
The previous week my girlfriend and I had barely seen each other. Then this week we saw each other a few times and we spent most of the weekend together, which was awesome.
She got her Grandmother Willow tattoo and I told her that I had been feeling kinda neglected…and/or unwanted lately because I felt like I am always reaching out to her and if I didn’t ask to hang out/talk on the phone, she wouldn’t ask either. She promised to fix this and assured me that she did not mean to make me feel this way intentionally, she just didn’t want to bother me all the time and assumed that I couldn’t hang out most of the time. She promised to start asking instead of assuming.
Had a snow day today….which was really nice. I made a Tumblr! I’m kinda addicted because there are tons of beautiful babes on there…and Fall Out Boy. I love Fall Out Boy.
While I was reblogging pics of hot chicks and feminist stuff, I was also bumming out on the couch with my sister watching shitty television and snacking.
I have been trying to come out to my sister for awhile now…I came really close to telling her yesterday. And then again today. I would be like: hey, Alex (that’s her name) I want to talk to you about something…
Then she would reply like: about what? are you okay? you’re making me nervous.
Because she was nervous, I would feel nervous so then I would say: is Erik coming for Christmas?
Blah. It’s so depressing.
My friend from a writing app that I used to use suggested that I write down what I want to say and just give the note to her. I associate notes with bad news and I also find notes to be rather lame…but seeing as that words fail me, I think it’s the best way to go.
no longer completely blind i have direction i feel alright actually i feel more than fine i’m great i’m ecstatic i’m on my way to fulfilling my dreams once i figure out what i want them to be it’s so relieving to finally know where i’m going i’m not dreaming and i’m relieved i feel good about my choice i want to rejoice i’m so happy so excited so anxious so…free
<<i enrolled to college today whoo>>