Since the fallout with my friend, I’ve been waiting to feel crappy about it, but I haven’t. Granted, I was very upset for about a week and I had nightmares, but that was it. I think about her once in awhile, mostly when I’m drinking, but that will diminish over time.
Perhaps I haven’t been so devasted because I subconsciously saw it coming. We hadn’t talked much in last few months, the love I had for her was too intense to last, and/or the conflict of interest there was due to her relationship with her best friend…but at the same time, I didn’t think these things would result in the finiteness of our friendship. I believed that if anything, we just wouldn’t be as close, which was okay with me. Instead, however, we don’t talk at all. She hasn’t reached out to me nor has she responded to my texts, even the ones where I was clearly upset. It’s reminiscent of how my ex iced me out over two years ago now.
It may also be because I’ve been busy with school, my other friends, and that I have other more pressing concerns.