• Poetry

    The Inbetween

    Caught in the inbetween:
    The state of being a kid and an adult
    Required to act mature,
    But often regarded as a joke

    The disagreeing expectations muddle,
    Puddling at my feet
    Is it acceptable to eagerly jump in?
    Or should I worry?
    If it’s a pool….perhaps it’s depth is too deep.

    Unsure of what to do with myself,
    As I’m caught in this “inbetween”
    It’s an awkward state,
    But it’s a result of being a teen.

    © 2019 Vic Romero

    All Rights Reserved.

    I wrote this circa 2012/2013…I’ve been thinking about an “inbetween” state lately…particularly about early adulthood. More on this later though. For now, I will be leaving you all with this teen-angst selfie from 2013, featuring sunglasses that take up my entire face, a cut-up Never Shout Never shirt, and iconic red lipstick. 

  • Poetry

    Five Years Later

    I’ve reluctantly returned to this shabby town:
    A graveyard of my former friends-turned-foes
    Five years ago, the demons had burned this shithole down
    It has since become silent here, lone for the anguished, laughing echoes

    Only my ghosts thrive here now
    Incapacitated since the demolition
    When I pass them, their white lips are pressed into frowns
    Their eyes are haunted by regretful recognition

    © 2019 Vic Romero

    All Rights Reserved

  • Speaking My Mind

    This is Scarier than Halloween

    I just finished sending…at least 10 job applications out.  My creative writing class this morning got cancelled because my professor is sick so I took the down time to do that since later I want to focus primarily on my senior honors thesis.  I have a five-page proposal due on Monday so I would like to write two pages today and finish it up by Friday so I can submit it to my advisor.  I feel like this may be a far-reaching goal but I’ve been pretty focused lately so hopefully I can bang out out five pages before the weekend, which would give me ample time to revise it.

    Anyway…I feel like I’ve been a little frazzled lately…I don’t even remember if I disclosed that I’m doing an honors thesis and if I’m taking creative writing!  Well..I’m doing an honors thesis and I’m taking a creative writing.  It’s awesome because they’re both forms of writing that challenge different areas of my brain.  The class is part of my initiative to keep writing for myself…last year I kinda disappeared because I had all this sadness pent up inside and I didn’t even know where to begin to write but…I figured it out with some time and patience and I’m back to writing pretty regularly.

    There are a couple of articles though that I’ve been putting off posting…it’s just a matter of me sitting down and taking the time to paste them here.  Perhaps I’ll do that tonight during a break from thesis writing.

    I wanted to come on here to express my stress about my life after college…which has pretty much all that I’ve spoken about.  My girlfriend is more excited about it than I am, but she still has another year of school.  I don’t know…I don’t know if I should’ve planned differently but at the same time…I need to stop comparing myself to others, even if they have similar career interests and/or majors.  I’m on my own damn path, and it’s awesome and I’m going to flourish!

  • Short Stories,  Speaking My Mind

    Finally

    I was ready this time.

    I squatted with my back against the empty pickle barrels, tightly grasping the pistol, waiting. My hands were clammy and shaking, and I tried taking deep breaths to calm myself down. I didn’t want to miss again, not when I only had one bullet left.

    I heard some loud footsteps nearby, presumably the graceless footsteps of the enemy. I leaned out from behind the barrel to get a better look, and sure enough, there she was. She was looking around the dim basement, her expression was frustrated.

  • Short Stories,  Speaking My Mind

    Greyness

    Of course, he had decided to take the highway.  There was no traffic on the highway, so there was no stopping.  He must’ve known that if there was an opportunity to jump out of the car, I would’ve taken it.

    I slumped down further in the passenger seat, my arms crossed over my body protectively as his words sliced through my skin.  He said we were having this conversation because he loves me, but I wasn’t feeling loved at all.  It wasn’t even a conversation; it was a lecture.  A lecture about me.  About what’s wrong with me.

  • Speaking My Mind

    Why Can’t We Be Friends?

    I feel like “friends” is the biggest topic I talk about with my friends. Isn’t that ironic? Well, it seems like many of my friends, including myself, struggle when it comes to friends for a variety of reasons. As of this past academic year (September 2014-May 2015), I’ve mostly been struggling with determining who my “true friends” are and finding people that I truly connect with. It hasn’t been until this summer, thanks to my current internship, that I’ve begun to figure some of my shit out.

  • Speaking My Mind

    Spread Positivity

    compliments

    Victoria- you are very confident in your beliefs which I admire.  I also really enjoy how you piece your clothes together.  

    She is very intellectual and is really friendly to everyone!

    Even though you seem shy, your style is so original and I always love your Doc Martens!

    You are smart and will do great in life.

    You are a sweetheart

    You’re really creative and passionate about your work!!

    You seem to have great confidence.

    Victoria is so nice and smart and I love talking to her.

    You are a very genuine and good friend and I love you girl 🙂

    Although we have only talked a few times, I think you have a very good outlook on life and I always see a smile on your face.

    Nice, smart.

    Thank you for explaining things over and over for me when I don’t understand an assignment.  It’s very nice of you.

    Although I always presumed you to be a quiet person, I’ve gotten the chance to talk to you this year and you’re a very helpful person.  I feel like I could talk to you easily.

    Soft and well spoken.

    You are very smart and so nice!

    She is such a strong person. She is really sweet and would never want to hurt anyone. She gives great advice and is one of the best friends I have ever had.

    You are really nice plus I enjoy that you are not afraid to speak your mind.

    In my English class in my senior year of high school my teacher passed around paper with all of our names on it and we all had to anonymously write something nice about each other.  This activity was inspired by “All the Good Things,” a story in the Chicken Noodle Soup series. I still have the physical copy of this…it’s nice to reference this when things are difficult.  Maybe do something like this with your friends!

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind,  unzipped lips

    Kat Is Everywhere

    Repost from 2012

    I’m haunted by her laugh,

    Her almond shaped eyes…

    I still feel the smoothness of her hair,

    I feel the heat from her dreamy stare

     

    I miss her smell

    Her soft skin

    The way she used to hug me…

    My shoulder is where she would rest her chin

     

    I remember how we used cuddle

    You always loved to snuggle

    And we would watch a scary movie

     

    Playing footsie underneath the table

    When I grab you hand to dance

    When we called each other nicknames

    When we baked

    Shared music

    Makeup tips

    Watched 80’s movies

    Read books

    Had sleepovers

    Said nothing

    When we laid in the grass

    Went on the swings

    Went to get crickets

    When you picked me up after I had smoked weed

    When you hugged me when I cried

    When you never got mad

    When we shared snacks

    When you made me laugh

    When we went to the pool or beach

    The way that you dragged your feet

    In defeat

    The way you just understood

    Never prodded

    The way your voice sounded over the phone

    The way you listened to me bitch

    How I never returned the favor

    How I’ve become such a bitch

     

    The way you stood me up

    The way you’ve let me down

    The way that you weren’t there

    I was so unsure if you still cared

     

    The way you became hopeless

    The way you left the room without another word

    The way that you never smiled anymore

    The way that you sat beside me patiently waiting for me to notice you

    The way you often cried

    The way that you never said goodbye

     

    The way that you didn’t believe me when I apologized

    How I ignored that text

    How she told me where you’ve gone

    That you were sick

    That you needed rest

     

    How I never asked about you

    How I never called you again

    How I never sent a late reply text

    How I’ve lost you as my friend

    How I’m a horrible friend

    I just do the same thing again and again.

     

    © 2015 Vic Romero

  • Speaking My Mind

    My Story

    “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.” -Mo Willems

    I should’ve left that story sooner, but I didn’t. In my desperation to make things work, I hindered the natural development of multiple stories, ultimately hurting myself. But it wasn’t always painful. Being part of another story gave me a sense of (false) belonging I had lacked for the longest time as well as joyous memories…so I went through with torturously penning myself into the narration. I had convinced myself that the thrills of being part of that story were greater than the pains I suffered. I was wrong.

    I don’t want to regret the events of 2014 because it has contained some of my favorite memories…but it also contains some of the worst. Maybe 2014 will be reflected on as a HUGE learning curve for me…as a year of life lessons. I don’t want 2015 to be the same way though…I don’t want to be in the wrong story again.

    The last few days have been difficult because I was finally letting go of the story I clearly didn’t belong in and I thought I was losing some main characters in my own story too, but after some time and apologies, everything is okay. I hope everything is okay. It’s a little scary realizing how few characters I have in my story now that my story stands alone…meeting people I have good and true connections with is something I want to improve in 2015, in addition to who I am.

    Thank you to anyone that commented kind things on my last post. I’m always around for anyone in need of a buddy as well.

    -Vic

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind,  unzipped lips

    Gruesome

    Unzipping,

    I begin to pull my skin away-

    Off of my body

    Stepping out of it

    As if it were a body suit

    Flinging it into the dusty corner

    Where my hair resides

    I stare at myself in the mirror

    All muscles and bones

     

    Gagging,

    I begin to tear off my muscle

    Losing all of my strength

    Losing all that I’m made of

     

    Soon I’m just a skeleton

    The only muscles are a set of eyes

    My brain

    My heart

    I despise

    Myself

    So I yank my power source out

    It’s warm in my hand

    Squeezing it,

    The blood pours out

     

    Then go my eyes and brain

    Then I’m just another skeleton.

    Nobody special.

    Technically dead.

    But I’ve always been dead.

    © 2012 Vic Romero

    I wrote this when I was seventeen during my junior year of high school.  I had been struggling with my identity and accepting myself since I was around twelve and/or thirteen…I think that age is when most people begin to struggle with who they realize they are.  Anyway…I used to be really depressed and today I spent a lot of time reflecting on things and thinking…

    I’m proud of myself for finding self-peace…I no longer loathe and resent myself…I’m proud of who I am and I strive to be better as well.  I’ve come a long way and there’s a lot more to go on this road but I will not allow myself to ever feel the way I did in my past…I am strong and I am amazing and I am excited for what the future has in store for me.  Most importantly though, I feel alive.

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