• Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    Love Bites (ep. 2): Sweet(ish) F(ish)

    The nights when I almost released my tether
    To fly high over the moon
    Talking myself in and out of sanity
    About my impending doom

    His baritone anchored me safely to earth
    Swaddling me
    Comforting
    His baritone made me feel like I was his universe
    Talking to me
    Listening

    The mornings when I almost crashed to the ground
    Because I didn’t pull open my parachute
    My head pounding in sync with my heart
    About my hopeless bloom

    His baritone anchored me safely to earth
    Swaddling me
    Comforting
    His baritone made me feel like I was his universe
    Talking to me
    Listening

    Then the nights woke up
    And the mornings fell asleep
    Because all good things end
    Once it’s broken, it’s difficult to repeat

    But I’m grateful that his baritone was there to anchor me
    And swaddle me when I was cold
    I’m grateful that he provided me with such comfort
    When I was all alone
    I’m grateful that he made me feel important
    And for those mornings when he serenaded me to sleep
    I’m grateful that we openly conversed
    I will fondly treasure these memories.

    xNJx

    © 2015 Vic Romero

    I decided to write a poem for this installment instead of a story. Here is the first and second stories of the Love Bites series.  The final installment will be posted in two weeks on Monday, 24 August 11am.

  • Speaking My Mind

    My Epiphany

    I had an epiphany last week and ever since I’ve been feeling a lot more upbeat…granted I still feel sad once in awhile but for the most part I’ve been a whole lot better.  The passing of time may have contributed to me feeling more content as well but anyway…I just wanted to share my thoughts.

    I’ve realized that it’s okay to still be upset about how things fell apart with my ex, but I shouldn’t let feeling sad about that hinder me from doing and achieving things. I’ve also learned the power of gratefulness…acknowledging people that are in your life and have stuck by your side is a really heartwarming realization and it feels really good to say ‘thanks’ and make them feel appreciated.  Valuing those people that are truly there for you, both new and old, rather than that one person that doesn’t seem to give a shit about you anymore is helpful to stop you from feeling so upset about a breakup or an exfriend…by acknowledging and appreciating the people that are in your life rather than that one person that left makes you feel loved and worthy of love.  I follow a lot of “positive quote” Facebook accounts and it’s nice having my entire feed be flooded with inspiration and positivity.  Most of the quotes and pictures have provided me with some comfort and have helped me move forward.  Being surrounded by inspiring, powerful women that I look up to and want to be like has been really helpful too…seeing all the opportunities that are available to me at college and how they can help me become like these strong women are motivating.  Seeing how my role models interact with people…romantically or just as friends…and seeing what they do to achieve their goals has given me a model for what I want/what I should do to get to that point.  Wearing clothes that make me feel attractive, strong, or whatever adjective I want to feel, has helped me look at myself positively in the mirror rather than seeing a lost loser girl…appearances aren’t everything but for me, the way I look affects my mood and my mood affects the way I dress so if I pick out something that I like to wear and that makes me feel beautiful then I’ll generally feel happy and then I’ll pick empowering outfits for the rest of the week and stuff.  Wearing things that make me feel good causes me to smile more, which instantly boosts my mood, and sometimes people will compliment me on my outfit or makeup and it makes me feel even happier.

    Not only has all these little epiphanies enabled me to be less sad about my ex, but it also has helped me overcome feeling so lost at college and it has given me more solid goals for my future, which will help me get more assimilated and stuff so yeah…I’ve just been finding a lot of role models and inspirational things in my life and finding happiness in the small things, like conversations with strangers on the bus.  It has helped me feel more positive and I think feeling positive attracts people to approach you and communicate with you so then you end up feeling even happier…it’s a win-win.

    I hope some of my epiphanies will help you guys, girls, and everyone in-between find strength in yourselves and strive for your dreams…also, LOVE YOURSELF…it’s a process and you’re not always going to love yourself but trying to do so will improve your life dramatically.  Hope you’re all having a great weekend, stay safe and warm! xo

    -Vic

    “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”

  • Short Stories,  Speaking My Mind

    Tuesday

    Concern causes lines of indentation to appear on her forehead, and her lips curve downward.  She tilts her head slightly and then reaches out to me, her arms spread out wide before enveloping my slumped-over body.

    “What’s wrong?” she asks after planting a loud kiss on my head.

    You, I think to myself.  But instead I mutter, “Nothing.”

    Thankfully she releases me from her chokehold grip to eye me carefully.  I know she doesn’t believe me.

    “I think something is bothering you.”

    I sigh and begin to list everything in the world that could possibly be bothering me…I’m tired, I’m stressed, I have that damned AP test, allergies…but none of these excuses cause me as much grief as she does.

    She begins to discuss with me the perils of being too stressed, of not taking allergy medicine…I converse with her animatedly, agreeing to everything she says.

    Then the conversation comes to a halt and we stare at each other for a few moments.

    “Okay,” she says, breaking the silence.  “Well just relax, everything will be okay.”

    I nod my head.

    “I love you,” she says as she walks away.

    “I love you too,” I reply automatically.  I just wish you could accept me and my decisions instead of forcing me to be someone that I’m not. 

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    Those Three

    It’s a little dizzying sometimes…
    Because it’s sometimes hard to find
    The difference between
    Who I am and who I try to be
    In order to appease
    Everyone but me

    I think about that night sometimes
    Maybe I shouldn’t have just sat there and cried…

    Maybe I should’ve tried harder
    Perhaps I should’ve fought for it
    Instead of standing there shaking
    And feeling my heart breaking

    Things haven’t been the same ever since
    Although things have always been this way…but now it’s more prominent

    © 2014 Vic Romero

  • Poetry

    Monday

    With the slamming of the door, it got really quiet.  For a long while, I did nothing, I just sat in silence.  My mind began to wrap around all the words that you had said.  Tying them tightly together, I held the brutal gift of your words to my chest.

    Honesty.

    Yeah, that’s what you had said you were doing for me.

    Honesty.  

    Because that’s what I deserve, undoubtedly.

    But honestly your Honesty has only hurt me…

    Sobs suddenly wracked through my body, shaking.  My heart felt broken, it was truly aching.  My chest, I was sure it was splitting.  The gift, I began ripping.  Tearing it open.  Tearing at the sodden paper, wet with tears.  The box of Honesty contained all my fears.  Which you kindly pointed out as my weaknesses, as my flaws.  My fears were going to be the cause of my fall…

    Nothing seemed better actually, than to fall.   Did I honestly think I could make it to the top of it all?

    No, I can’t.  I’m not good enough, I have too many fears.

    I calmed down a bit, I was coming down from my emotional fit.  But then I realized that you were the only one that gave a shit.  About me, about who I was.  Without you, I might as well be wearing camouflage.

    Honesty.

    I’m invisible.

    Honesty.

    I’m transparent.

    And honestly your Honesty hurts

    But I know you love me…and I’m glad to have you as my parent.

    You are right, I need to be more confident.

    ©VicRomero

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