The past two days have been really good…Friday I went to the women’s basketball game and we won. Yesterday I spent the whole day in the library with my friend but we watched a bunch of movies later so that was nice…last night though I had a bad dream about my ex. She wasn’t in it much and we didn’t interact with each other…which is one of the reasons that it was bad. It was also a bad dream because I had many physical limitations…like I couldn’t move fast enough and/or I couldn’t talk or see…it was frustrating and difficult.
Regarding my ex, I feel very powerless about what happened between us which is probably why I dreamt feeling powerless when it came to her in my dream…I was physically unable to tell her how I felt and look at her…it was hard and depressing.
Yesterday when I was in the library I wrote my final letter to my ex under the advisement of my therapist. My therapist had suggested that instead of writing a “mature” letter, I should write something vulnerable. She didn’t say I had to send it but I think what I wrote is important for my ex to know. I’m going to share it with my therapist tomorrow and see what she thinks, and then when I drop off her stuff at her house during Thanksgiving break I’ll include my final letter.
The letter is vulnerable, strong, powerful, compassionate…I think it’s a really great letter and hopefully it’ll make these dreams of feeling restricted and powerless go away.
Anyway, just wanted to share that before I update my list to see what kind of progress I’ve been making…