• Poetry

    The Inbetween

    Caught in the inbetween:
    The state of being a kid and an adult
    Required to act mature,
    But often regarded as a joke

    The disagreeing expectations muddle,
    Puddling at my feet
    Is it acceptable to eagerly jump in?
    Or should I worry?
    If it’s a pool….perhaps it’s depth is too deep.

    Unsure of what to do with myself,
    As I’m caught in this “inbetween”
    It’s an awkward state,
    But it’s a result of being a teen.

    © 2019 Vic Romero

    All Rights Reserved.

    I wrote this circa 2012/2013…I’ve been thinking about an “inbetween” state lately…particularly about early adulthood. More on this later though. For now, I will be leaving you all with this teen-angst selfie from 2013, featuring sunglasses that take up my entire face, a cut-up Never Shout Never shirt, and iconic red lipstick. 

  • Speaking My Mind

    I’ve Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

    Seventeen magazine had said that in January I would be flirting with two hotties (which I was: my manager who I started talking to two days before I saw my horoscope, and my former best friend who I’ve been reconnecting with for awhile and is straight) and that one of them is compatible with me. On the 26th I was supposed to know which person is for me.

    I don’t believe in horoscopes. I like to read them though because I think it’s cool when they are somewhat relevant to my life, and I wonder how many other Scorpios (that’s my horoscope) relate to the horoscope, which in turn means that they relate to me. It’s a connection of astrology. I find it neat.

    Regardless of my fascination with horoscopes, I have never believed in them nor have I ever deemed horoscopes to be correct. Except for the one that I stated above. Then again, my horoscope was actually not correct because I had known she was the one that was most compatible with me after a few days of talking, regardless of my questioning our compatibility when I found out that she smokes pot. Pot irks me.

    Anyway, today is the 27th and I forgot that the 26th, the official day that I was supposed to know if she was the person for me, has passed.

    Did anything happen yesterday that reaffirmed that she was the person for me?

    ….no. I spent most of yesterday not talking to her because I was studying or…”studying”. I did text her later last night during the Grammy’s though. I confessed to her that I had died inside (in a good way) that one time that she had gotten mad at work and almost whacked me with the door because she had grabbed my waist…she was all: omg Victoria you just melted my heart I didn’t think I could make anyone feel that way…

    Other than that, there was nothing that happened on the 26th that screamed “VICTORIA YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH THIS GIRL!!!”

    However, there have been other times, before the magical 26th and after that has caused me to like her even more than I did when I was just admiring her from afar a few months ago.

    We have a lot in common, my girl and I. We have little things in common, like favorite ice cream flavor, favorite music, etc. But we also have similar values, such as honesty, family, work ethics.

    We have a lot of differences too. She loves wrestling and football (specifically the Patriots) and I don’t watch sports (except for tennis sometimes). She enjoys romance movies, I prefer comedies. There are others too, but I didn’t want to make a list about her here. I want to talk about…Thursday.

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    “This Was A Prison”

    from google images

    No one knows

    My inner heart

    Where my feelings are conflicted

    And restricted…

    They all say “you’re in the closet”

    But I feel more like I’m imprisoned

    Trapped inside myself

    Dark, solitary confinement

    In the dark

    I can still hear

    Homophobic slurs

    The disgusting jeers

    Violence and hate are used to create

    Humiliation and shame

    And loveless preachers preach that hell is a queer person’s fate

    Yet the outed walk hand in hand with their dates

    Pride shines on each face

    I long to be with them

    But for now, I’m safe

    I’m behind bars

    Locked away

    In the dark

    Where it’s quiet

    Where I’m surpressed

    My feelings

    My thoughts

    Passion and lust for love

    Are all safe from hate

    I hate that I have to “come out”

    Why can’t a girl loving another girl be a norm?

    It’s just the way some girls are born…

    But even after many years

    Many people coming out

    And being proud

    It’s still not widely accepted

    In some places, being queer is not even talked about

    At least I now know

    And I can admit it

    I like girls

    I like them a lot

    But journal, you’re the only one that knows

    You’re the only one that I can

    Talk to

    And it sucks that in this jail

    This closet

    I am alone.

    © 2013-2014 Vic Romero

    <<wrote this on 14 December 2013 before I came out to a few people…although I have come out to the most important people in my life (excluding my parents), I still feel like I’m in the closet (especially because my parents don’t know) but at least now I have people (and an amazing girl) to connect to and talk about my sexuality with.  Anyway, below is the quote that inspired me to write this poem.  The quote below that one is a great reflection of how I feel about my sexuality nowadays.  Thank you for reading 🙂 >>

    “They got it wrong when they called it “the closet.” This was a prison. Solitary confinement. I was locked inside, inside myself, dark and afraid and alone. (Chapter. 23)”
    ― Julie Anne Peters, Keeping You a Secret

    “The best thing about coming out is, it’s totally liberating. You feel like you’ve made this incredible discovery about yourself and you want to share it and be open and honest and not spend all your time wondering how is this person going to react, or should I be careful around this person, or what will the neighbors say? And it’s more. It’s about getting past the question of what’s wrong with me, to knowing there’s nothing wrong, that you were born this way. You’re a normal person and a beautiful person and you should be proud of who you are. You deserve to live with dignity and show people your pride.”

    ― Julie Anne Peters, Keeping You a Secret

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    smashed at starbucks

     

    feeling low

    insecure and alone

    why would i feel this way after hanging out with her, now that i’m home?

    everyone fucking knows…

    i’m now swimming in a fishbowl

    and i’m naive

    inexperienced little me

    lamer than anything that comes to be

    not good enough, i need to leave

    i just want to run

    leave her hanging on

    eventually she’ll let go too

    i just want to run

    run from her because she makes me feel too good

    and it’s all corrupt

    it’s all fucked

    from the beginning anyway

    i will only be ending it all

    before the unstable structure that we’ve created falls

    on its own

    or maybe i will wait it out

    and see if she can accept me

    but i don’t want to ask

    because i’m scared she’ll reject me

    © 2014 Vic Romero

  • Speaking My Mind

    Manic Monday

    I’m itching to blog
    But I am sick and tired
    So here’s this haiku

    I shall write tomorrow…interesting shit went down today and it needs to be documented.

    Well…until then…Goodnight all xx

  • Poetry

    Creamsicle

    I love you…
    But you won’t ever know
    I need you
    But I have to let you go
    Again
    Sure, we can be friends
    If I don’t mind
    Having my heart ripped to shreds
    Every time I see you
    Every time I get near you
    Every time I hear you laugh
    All I want
    Is to be with you
    Forever
    Hold your hand
    Lean my head on your chest
    Feel your heartbeat
    Feel the warmth of your breath
    As it tickles my neck
    Your lips, sweetly caress…
    These are only dreams though
    Pathetic fantasies
    Although I’m pretty sure
    You are the only girl for me

    © 2014 Vic Romero

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