Almost a year ago, I decided to try online dating.
I had no business being online…I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and at the time I was jailbait since I was a minor.
Regardless, I made an account…it was Christmas Eve. I was at a state of depression and hopelessness I had never felt before. I had lost all my friends the year before…some weren’t really friends though. But anyway…I was lonely. The two friends that remained suffered from depression…one was hospitalized and the other on medication. I was doing my best to help them out, but my feelings were…being neglected…because they had enough shit to deal with on their own.
The feelings that consumed my head regarded my loneliness…but also my sexuality. I had been questioning it for about two years, which was when I uprooted myself from organized religion and when I began to develop feelings for a close friend, whom I’m no longer friends with because I was so embarrassed by how I felt.