• Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    parasite

    i relinquished my power to you and my better judgement at my expense because your so-called love and cheap affection caused my heart to pound against the bones in my chest and you felt my heart jumping when you caressed my breast but you chalked it up to being in the moment although my feelings for you ran and still run much deeper and i ignored the warning signs and continued running as the descent got steeper and it all caught up to me when i tripped and fell and tumbled to my doom maybe we just met too soon otherwise you may have been feeling the same way too…but you don’t. you never did. why did i think that you did? did you change your mind? it feels like you have just been manipulating me all this time…and it’s not okay.  it’s not okay how you kept asking when i said “no” because i wasn’t going to change my mind at least not that night and it’s not okay how you reduced me to my body and it’s not okay for stringing me along leading me on convincing me that we’re something we’re not when you knew all along and you watched me comprised my wants and needs for this bullshit “friendship” like hell we were never friends and i’m still…unsure if i can keep trying to tie these loose ends don’t you see that you’re only hurting me why do i keep doing what you want you’re not the boss of me i want my fucking agency back because i’m tired of feeling mad and sad and anxious and scared this shouldn’t feel so hard and it shouldn’t hurt so much to cut you out you’re a parasite so get out of my sight get out get out get out

    © 2016 Vic Romero

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    laborious thoughts

    what 

    is life after college?

     

    creation of visual art

    creating your own brand

    and poetry

    that represents deeper issues and meanings

    of the universe

    while

    you travel aimlessly

    to create

    to survive

    to find your own purpose

    on this grand, fucked up-

    beautiful globe

    do you turn to spiritual practices

    to see more clearly

    the beauty of the mess?

     

    or

     

    is it about

    working nine to five

    FULL TIME FULL TIME FULL TIME

    MEDICAL BENEFITS

    COMPETITIVE SALARIES

    R E T I R E M E N T plans

    so you can move out

    of your small, carpeted childhood bedroom

    and into a larger one

    with hardwood floors

    that you share with someone that looks at you

    with stars in their eyes?

     

    are there alternatives? what are they?

     

    what do i want?

     

    © 2017 Vic Romero

     

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    PIV

    This is an extremely raw write…I wrote this over the course of several days back in April-March…tears always stung my eyes as I added a couple of lines on my way to class or when I couldn’t focus on studying…I could edit this and clean it up, but I kind of like how…raw and therefore rough it is. I feel like it helps depict my mentality at that time…jagged edges and ill-fitting puzzle pieces. 


    At this point, I’m only torturing myself

    Because I know well

    That nothing will become of this.

    I don’t want it to anyway

    This relationship would drive

    myself crazy

    Because you’re too lazy

    To treat me right

    And you’re a vault

    Locked up tight

     

    I must love how you hurt me

    Because I’m not coming undone from your touch

    No

    Only you get satisfied

    So why do I keep entangling myself

    In these cheap affairs

    There’s nothing in it for me

    In the end

     

    We’re not going to last

     

    I think I rather be alone

    Than be with you and feel miserable

    Our relationship isn’t transparent

    And there isn’t a point in talking about it anymore

    Since it’ll only fall on deaf ears

    Like what has happened before

    It’s exhausting trying to one-up you

    I’m killing myself so you can’t

    But there isn’t a point

    Since I can’t accomplish anything if I’m dead

    We aren’t friends

    We don’t know how to be friends

     

    I’ve known all of this for awhile now

    Ever since I realized you aren’t lonely

    You just want someone to fuck

    Or a thing

    I lose my autonomy with you

    As you pursue sexual satisfaction

    I remain still for you

    Your hands graze my body

    And penetrate me

    To please you

    And you alone

     

    I am enough

    You’re not allowed to make me feel less than


    But I’m not gonna stop entertaining your texts

    And I won’t stop spending the night

    Until you stop inviting me

    Because ending the hurricane that we are

    Means also ending the rainbow in my life

     

    I’m not really part of anything

    A stray leaf floating through branches covered in leaves that match each other

    But I’m different colored

    Mixing everything together

     

    You’re no longer allowed to camp out at the forefront of my mind

    I have other things to think about

    Other friendships to foster

    And problems I want to solve

    You treat me like I’m ordinary

    And I deserve better

     

    I like the idea of you

    I like hooking up with you because I like you

    You like hooking up with me because I’m convenient

    I am just a body

    Without agency

    A rag doll

    Raggedy Vie

     

    © 1 March 2016 Vic Romero



  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    parasite

    i relinquished my power to you and my better judgement at my expense because your so-called love and cheap affection caused my heart to pound against the bones in my chest and you felt my heart jumping when you caressed my breast but you chalked it up to being in the moment although my feelings for you ran and still run much deeper and i ignored the warning signs and continued running as the descent got steeper and it all caught up to me when i tripped and fell and tumbled to my doom maybe we just met too soon otherwise you may have been feeling the same way too…but you don’t. you never did. why did i think that you did? did you change your mind? it feels like you have just been manipulating me all this time…and it’s not okay.  it’s not okay how you kept asking when i said “no” because i wasn’t going to change my mind at least not that night and it’s not okay how you reduced me to my body and it’s not okay for stringing me along leading me on convincing me that we’re something we’re not when you knew all along and you watched me comprised my wants and needs for this bullshit “friendship” like hell we were never friends and i’m still…unsure if i can keep trying to tie these loose ends don’t you see that you’re only hurting me why do i keep doing what you want you’re not the boss of me i want my fucking agency back because i’m tired of feeling mad and sad and anxious and scared this shouldn’t feel so hard and it shouldn’t hurt so much to cut you out you’re a parasite so get out of my sight get out get out get out

    © 2016 Vic Romero

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    we’re not friends

    break it off yesterday because it’s not worth trudging through the dirt

    i am lazy i am crazy am i the reason that this doesn’t work

    i blame them and i hate them for all the hurt so much hurt

    but i don’t try because i remember that i always forget i

    am alone

    at the end of the day i don’t have a say in it

    i’m alone

    and a sucker

    take advantage just fuck her

    selectively choosing when to trust

    but i have proof that it was better before

    before it was shiny but it’s all turned to rust

    we’re not friends

    we’re not anything

    i opt out of seeing you anymore

    but i’m afraid i’m making the same mistake

    as before

     

    © Vic Romero

    Goodbye STC, AL

    #rawwrite

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    snail mail

    maybe you thought i was fishing for an apology…i was at the time. but for awhile i’ve been feeling more at peace and not needing that to get by…the gashes have been healing although the scars are still apparent and pain is an adjective i’m still feeling but i’m okay i’m better then okay, actually then you come around…jeez, you have a lot of nerve after i opened myself up and told you how you made me feel. honestly, you shouldn’t have said anything because you don’t mean it you shouldn’t have told me that you had loved me but you did…maybe to “do me a favor” too bad i’m allergic asswipe flavor you really should’ve saved your bullshit apology because we both know that you’re not sorry…but thanks for trying because you’ve only confirmed that i am better off without you

    © 2014 Vic Romero

  • Poetry,  Speaking My Mind

    Raw Write III

    you’re still always on my mind…

    wishing for you, wondering about you, wanting to know why

    you left for good

    you don’t need me anymore? not even as a friend…?

    are you hurting too?

    don’t get me wrong, i don’t want to get back together with you

    but i miss you

    our friendship

    you really were my best friend

    i hope you come around…i hope to hear from you again

    and i hope you miss me too

    because then i’d know that i meant something to you

    © 2014 Vic Romero

  • Poetry

    I’m Nauseous and Shaking

    My lungs fill up with death
    After inhaling another cold, icy breath
    My lips and fingers are a bit blue
    Tears freeze on each cheek too
    I’m confused
    My heart is bruised
    I am different
    But I don’t know if anyone will accept it
    I walk briskly and think of what could be
    And reminisce about what could’ve been for me
    The loose ends are still frayed threads
    Only now I have a loving, kind friend
    That holds the ends together
    She promised ‘always’…does that mean forever?
    Lost in my thoughts
    I forget how to walk
    Although I remember each step I made
    And I know each step I still have to take
    As I approach what is supposed to be home
    The place my heart has left so long ago
    I hope that someone somewhere will one day accept me

    © 2013 VicRomero

    20131129-115836.jpg

    *image from Google

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