• Speaking My Mind

    Second Update: How to Discover and Redefine Myself

    The past two days have been really good…Friday I went to the women’s basketball game and we won.  Yesterday I spent the whole day in the library with my friend but we watched a bunch of movies later so that was nice…last night though I had a bad dream about my ex.  She wasn’t in it much and we didn’t interact with each other…which is one of the reasons that it was bad.  It was also a bad dream because I had many physical limitations…like I couldn’t move fast enough and/or I couldn’t talk or see…it was frustrating and difficult.

    Regarding my ex, I feel very powerless about what happened between us which is probably why I dreamt feeling powerless when it came to her in my dream…I was physically unable to tell her how I felt and look at her…it was hard and depressing.

    Yesterday when I was in the library I wrote my final letter to my ex under the advisement of my therapist.  My therapist had suggested that instead of writing a “mature” letter, I should write something vulnerable.  She didn’t say I had to send it but I think what I wrote is important for my ex to know.  I’m going to share it with my therapist tomorrow and see what she thinks, and then when I drop off her stuff at her house during Thanksgiving break I’ll include my final letter.

    The letter is vulnerable, strong, powerful, compassionate…I think it’s a really great letter and hopefully it’ll make these dreams of feeling restricted and powerless go away.

    Anyway, just wanted to share that before I update my list to see what kind of progress I’ve been making…

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