i’m the girl the girl that you were looking for and found
and then i died in a tragic car accident
i’m the girl that suddenly packed up and left town
and then you found her although she didn’t want to be discovered
i’m the girl that changed your life
by inspiring you to uncover
your own self-worth and desires
but i never stick around, i always leave
i touch lives
but i never get to see
i’m a symbol
i provide temporary romances and friendships
but it’s all for your benefit
© 2014 Vic Romero
**inspired by Looking for Alaska and Paper Towns by John Green
This weekend was amazing.
My girlfriend (we got back together on Monday, September 8th at like 2:30am) just left about a little bit ago. I feel really sad…like I started crying a little bit but I think that’s mostly because I’m homesick and now that she’s gone I’m alone again. But I do think a part of me is really sad because I’m scared because…I feel kinda ruined.
Things have been crazy lately. There has been a lot of lectures from my parents as they struggle to understand and accept my “no-label” sexuality, tears, stress and anxiety, tension, and lack of sleep.
It’s funny how I thought my mom was going to take my sexuality well…she said I threw a bomb onto the house and she has been waking me up in the early mornings, hounding me with questions about my sexuality, giving me lectures about AIDS, expressing her distaste in my lack of religious beliefs and her disappointment in me, how she thinks I’ve been brainwashed…she has offended me many times.
Conversely, my dad, who also feels disappointed, is not acting that way toward me as much, and I thought he would be the parent that would take this news the hardest. He works a lot so he’s not around much…but when he is around things are generally okay with him.
However, I’m scared to be alone with my mom in fear that we’re going to get into an argument like we did yesterday. With my dad, I don’t think he’s randomly going to bring up my sexuality.
Anyway, things have been rough in my household lately. I’ve been fighting a lot and crying…I haven’t been this distressed with my parents since my sophomore year of high school. It’s kinda weird…I’ve been thinking about how and why we stopped fighting so much…it was because I stopped “rebelling” and started doing what they wanted me to do. Except the problem now isn’t with what I’m doing, it’s with who I am. Although they hated that I am dating Janice*.