• Speaking My Mind

    My Epiphany

    I had an epiphany last week and ever since I’ve been feeling a lot more upbeat…granted I still feel sad once in awhile but for the most part I’ve been a whole lot better.  The passing of time may have contributed to me feeling more content as well but anyway…I just wanted to share my thoughts.

    I’ve realized that it’s okay to still be upset about how things fell apart with my ex, but I shouldn’t let feeling sad about that hinder me from doing and achieving things. I’ve also learned the power of gratefulness…acknowledging people that are in your life and have stuck by your side is a really heartwarming realization and it feels really good to say ‘thanks’ and make them feel appreciated.  Valuing those people that are truly there for you, both new and old, rather than that one person that doesn’t seem to give a shit about you anymore is helpful to stop you from feeling so upset about a breakup or an exfriend…by acknowledging and appreciating the people that are in your life rather than that one person that left makes you feel loved and worthy of love.  I follow a lot of “positive quote” Facebook accounts and it’s nice having my entire feed be flooded with inspiration and positivity.  Most of the quotes and pictures have provided me with some comfort and have helped me move forward.  Being surrounded by inspiring, powerful women that I look up to and want to be like has been really helpful too…seeing all the opportunities that are available to me at college and how they can help me become like these strong women are motivating.  Seeing how my role models interact with people…romantically or just as friends…and seeing what they do to achieve their goals has given me a model for what I want/what I should do to get to that point.  Wearing clothes that make me feel attractive, strong, or whatever adjective I want to feel, has helped me look at myself positively in the mirror rather than seeing a lost loser girl…appearances aren’t everything but for me, the way I look affects my mood and my mood affects the way I dress so if I pick out something that I like to wear and that makes me feel beautiful then I’ll generally feel happy and then I’ll pick empowering outfits for the rest of the week and stuff.  Wearing things that make me feel good causes me to smile more, which instantly boosts my mood, and sometimes people will compliment me on my outfit or makeup and it makes me feel even happier.

    Not only has all these little epiphanies enabled me to be less sad about my ex, but it also has helped me overcome feeling so lost at college and it has given me more solid goals for my future, which will help me get more assimilated and stuff so yeah…I’ve just been finding a lot of role models and inspirational things in my life and finding happiness in the small things, like conversations with strangers on the bus.  It has helped me feel more positive and I think feeling positive attracts people to approach you and communicate with you so then you end up feeling even happier…it’s a win-win.

    I hope some of my epiphanies will help you guys, girls, and everyone in-between find strength in yourselves and strive for your dreams…also, LOVE YOURSELF…it’s a process and you’re not always going to love yourself but trying to do so will improve your life dramatically.  Hope you’re all having a great weekend, stay safe and warm! xo

    -Vic

    “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”

  • beauty and fashion

    70’s Rocker Ensemble

    photo 2

    I got this dress online from Forever 21.  Forever 21 was having a crazy sale and this dress reminded me of the seventies because of the sleeves and it felt like something that Free People would sell (I love Free People but it’s too expensive) so I got this dress.

    photo 1

    Here’s the back…as you can see the material is like a thick, knitted fabric.  I wore tattoo tights with this dress that had this creepy corset stitching down the whole leg.

    photo 3 photo 4

    Here’s a closer look at my sexy legs lol the shoes I’m wearing are from my mom’s closet.  Like I’ve said before, I hate flats but you can only wear low-cut shoes with these tights so you can get the full effect of the tights.  I’m looking at buying a low pair of Docs soon…the ones I’m interested in getting are really expensive though but I know they’d get good use so I may have to make an investment.  We shall see…when I finally get nice low-cut shoes I’ll make a shoe collection post because I have a decent amount of shoes in my opinion.  They make my tiny closet at school really full lol

    photo 1

    This is my beautified face…oh and there you can see the Betsey Johnson necklace my sister got me for my birthday that I wore in my birthday lookbook.

    photo 2

    So let’s talk about my makeup today!  The palette that I used is by the brand Beauty Gems and it’s called “Change It Up.”  I’ve had it for about two years now so that means that I’m ready to buy another one.  I have my eyes set on the Urban Decay Vice 3 eyeshadow palette although it’s quite expensive for me but I think I’d like it more than the one I currently have so I’d probably use it more than I use the Beauty Gems one.

    I dislike the Beauty Gems palette because the quality of the makeup is just mediocre, like it doesn’t go on that smoothly in my opinion.  I got it for ten bucks though so I can’t be expecting too much haha Also, this particular palette has a lot of neutrals, which I never wear because I feel like the point of eyeshadow is to have obnoxious, awesome colors on your eyelids rather than painting on eyeshadow that matches your skintone…but maybe I feel this way because I’m young and I do whatever I want regarding fashion and makeup.  I wore a smokey eye and bright red lipstick during the daytime, in which I spent the whole day taking midterms.  I don’t care, as long as I think I look good 🙂

    Enough blabbering now haha okay so ideally I wanted to do bright red eyeshadow with grey/black eyeshadow around it to give it a smokey effect but my lame-o palette doesn’t have red.  Vice 3 doesn’t have a bright red either but it has colors that are closer to red than the ones that I currently have.  Anyway, I made do with pink eyeshadow and unfortunately I didn’t have time for fake eyelashes so I just used mascara, along with some eyeliner.  I’ve really gotten into wearing fake eyelashes now that I’m not terrified to apply them and that I’ve applied them successfully haha

    photo 3

    I’m also wearing foundation and blush.  I’m really liking wearing blush, I have never worn it before until last week when I randomly decided to try it.  I never get flushed cheeks, even if I run or anything, so it’s cool having flushed cheeks now because of blush.  I think in this case it doesn’t suggest that I’m hot and sweaty as if I had run a mile, but it looks really feminine and makes me feel all…”come hither” to attractive people lol I don’t even know what I’m saying.  I feel beautiful, okay? lol

    photo 4photo 5

    I decided to picture my rings today…I always wear rings but I’ve never shown them before.  The one on my left hand is a black rose ring I got at a cheap store in Manhattan most likely.  The rainbow ring is my pride ring, which I wear religiously so other queer people can know I’m queer too, although most people don’t notice it because it’s subtle.  My former boss actually noticed it and asked me about it and it was really uncomfortable…but he asked me about it because he wanted to segue into talking about his gay father, so that was kinda cool.

    The last ring I’m wearing is a creepy bunny that reminded me of Frank from Donnie Darko.  The fact that it’s a bunny also makes me think of my favorite YouTuber, Bunny Meyer, or Grav3yardgirl.  I consider myself a YouTube junkie, and I particularly love her videos because she’s so down to earth and also really crazy.  I feel like if I met her we’d actually be friends, and she has become my fashion and makeup inspiration.  She’s really funny too, her videos always make me feel better so…if you’re curious about her channel, click here.

    Anyway, that’s today’s ensemble.  Tomorrow I have an interview so I need to wear “professional” clothing but I found ways to personalize it and make it more “me” rather than the racist, sexist, etc idea of “professionalism.”  When I post the pics I’ll tell you guys why I think “professionalism” is dumb.

    Lastly, I decided to include two inspiring picture messages today.  I’ve been struggling staying positive lately…between school, my family, my ex…there’s just a lot of layers to the problems I feel that I’m facing currently and I came across these pictures on Facebook today.  They really resonated with me and I thought I’d share them.  photo 1 photo 2

    Have a good night! xo

    -Vic

%d bloggers like this: