• Speaking My Mind

    Decisions, Decisions

    I’m now a certified vinyasa yoga instructor! I’m so proud of myself and so grateful to have been able to earn this certification. It has been life-changing and eye-opening.

    I’ve been wanting to write about my experience for forever, but the last two weeks have been unusually busy. Two weeks ago it was July 4th weekend and I was studying for my yoga final and spending some much-needed quality time with my girlfriend. Last week was the final week of my training and then we had a party to celebrate on Friday. Saturday I attended my step-grandma’s nephew’s wedding (weird? I know, but it was fun!) and then my parents left for a 10-day vacation. My weeks aren’t usually this eventful.

    Now that I’ve graduated both from college and this training program, my days have slowed down a bit, thus I’ve resumed the arduous and depressing task of applying for jobs! Also, yesterday I spontaneously purchased a new member pass to a local yoga studio to become more acquainted with the yoga community. I also am hoping to teach at this yoga studio. I have some other studios in mind too though in case it doesn’t pan out.

    Something needs to pan out though because I desperately need to work. The stress that comes with job applications has unfortunately returned, despite it being managed better due to Yoga as well as my wonderful girlfriend’s insight. I’m so pleased I got a month pass to attend an unlimited amount of yoga classes though because it will provide some much-needed structure until I figure out the job stuff. Plus I love yoga and I am trying different styles of yoga through this studio! It’s awesome.

    Some things I’ve been thinking about lately, other than jobs, have been doctorate programs and whether to create a website just for yoga stuff.

    In regards to the first thing…I still have to look at program curriculums but right now, I am interested in pursuing a doctorate in Women’s and Gender Studies. I feel nervous for being interested in that type of program though because it’s a relatively new field and aside from academia, I imagine job prospects to be bleak. That may not be the case but considering I have been having a difficult time getting a job with a degree in economics as well as WGS, I expect to deal with similar or worse challenges if I specialize in WGS only. On the other hand, because it’s a new field, I could be part of groundbreaking work such as helping to establish it as a notable field as well as being one of the first teachers in WGS to have studied WGS (currently, most WGS professors have diverse backgrounds of study ranging from Africana studies to economics to sociology).

    The other thing I’ve been pondering about is the development of a professional website. This website that I’ve been using for four or five years now is quite personal, so I feel uncomfortable sharing it with people that I know and using it to advertise my business…it’s not a business website anyway, it’s my personal website. I should probably make a professional yoga website but websites are not cheap and as I’ve mentioned before, I need a job.

    The lack of a job is making me nervous for next month because I don’t know what I will do. Will I be working a 9-5 an hour away from home? When will I have time to do yoga then? Will I get a job that will force me to relocate? How can I advertise for my yoga services if I can’t afford to make the website and if I have a job and can afford to make the website, how will I provide services if I’m working full-time?

    I’m uncertain when I should invest money to make money and when I should save it I guess. I mean..I invested money to get the training so maybe I should save it now and make a free yoga website until I am able to upgrade? Any thoughts?

    I keep revisiting my dream life scenario where I have my PhD so I am able to conduct research and teach, and then also teach yoga. To achieve this dream life though, I’ll definitely have to undergo some uncomfortable shifts of time-management and I’ll also have to do things I don’t enjoy. Or…as what Yoga philosophy argues…I may not expect to enjoy it but I should find contentment in what I’m doing regardless.

    I really want to write posts about yoga, which may be more suitable for a yoga-focused website. One cool thing though is that I will be able to write for a yoga teacher’s website! I was introduced to her through the famous yoga Facebook group I always mention and she was looking for guest writers! Whenever my article is posted on her site, I’ll let y’all know!

    xx Vic

  • Yummy Recipes

    Satisfying Summer Salad!

    I recently made a salad inspired by a recipe from the Yoga Journal, and it was great! I have mixed feelings about salad because at least when I make it for myself, I don’t feel like I have the greatest skill at combining ingredients that go well together. Therefore, salad recipes, albeit simple, are helpful to me. As per usual with the recipes I prepare, I didn’t have every ingredient required, so I had to improvise. The results were still great though!

    I didn’t measure anything for this recipe so I just threw a couple of handfuls of arugula in a bowl and I added a quarter of an avocado, because I had eaten most of it the previous day. Then I added chopped walnuts, raw sunflower seeds, the rest of the parmesan that I had, and a chopped tomato. Lastly, I squeezed half a lemon, drizzled olive oil, added a bunch of black pepper, and a pinch or two of Kosher salt.

    That was it! It was super simple and it had flavors that I usually don’t add to my salad unless I’m at a salad bar or if the salad is made for me.

    Some of my go-to salad ingredients are canned beets, canned mandarin slices, craisins, and red peppers. Clearly, I like sweet salads.

    What are your favorite ingredients for a salad?

    xx Vic

  • Short Stories

    Stifling Heat

    I stared up at the ceiling fan as it whirled overhead. It was attempting to provide a breeze in the sweltering evening heat but to little avail. My oversized t-shirt clung to my back, sticky with perspiration. I raised my feet into the air, feeling the slight breeze tickle my soles. Then I rolled onto my right side and stared directly into the electric fan. The wind it created was aggressive and loud. My hair blew off of my face and I sighed blissfully.

    Then my phone pinged.

    I glanced at it, unamused, and snatched it off of the chipping, white side table. It was Ashley.

    I heard what happened to you and Tom. I’m so sorry.

    I frowned and turned off my phone. She’s not sorry, she is probably thrilled that he’s now available. She always liked him. I could tell by the way she looked at him and how she talked to him.

    I rolled back onto my back and resumed staring into the ceiling fan, hoping to be hypnotized into a deep sleep.

    Sleep. What a foreign concept to me at this point. I haven’t slept since we broke up a week ago. It’s been even longer since I’ve slept alone. Two years. It’s been two years…I don’t know how to sleep alone anymore.

    I closed my eyes, hoping that if I pretended to be asleep, I’d eventually trick myself into falling asleep this time. Instead of looking at the back of my eyelids though, I was confronted by Tom’s face hovering over me, illuminated by the moon through the window. He was smiling mischievously, some locks of his golden hair falling into his eyes. Then I felt his warm, calloused fingers draw circles on my right arm. His breath was warm when he leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Tell me what you want.”

    I smiled, relieved that he was back. He tenderly kissed my face, but when I tried to kiss him, he shook his head, his grin widening.

    “Tell me first,” he said, kissing my neck. The sensation sent chills down my body, and simultaneously ignited my skin. “Tell me what you want.”

    I slid my hand across my hot stomach and brushed the top of my pubic bone.

    “I want you,” I gasped as my fingers dipped lower, probingly.

    “What do you want me to do?” he asked, kissing his way down my chest.

    My touch sent a wave of warmth over my body. “I want you to…” I panted.

    “What do you want me to do?” he asked, looking into my eyes.

    “I want you to—”

    Then my body shook, and everything felt like it was on fire.

    When my breathing slowed and I relaxed, I whispered, “I want you to be here.” I opened my eyes expectedly as if I had just performed a spell to summon him. All I saw though, was the whirling ceiling fan in my dark room. I was alone.

    My face crumbled. The satisfaction that I created dissipated and tears streamed down my cheeks.

    © 2018 Vic Romero – Performance Poetics Spring 2018

  • Short Stories,  Speaking My Mind

    Date on the Dock

    It got quieter as we walked further down the uneven, dirt path and away from the party. The kids’ shrill screaming of “Happy Birthday” into a microphone diminished until it was entirely replaced with the squaw of birds and the rustling of leaves on the trees as the wind gently blew.  

    We came upon the small, wooden dock hidden by the shroud of shrubs at the edge of the lake. She placed a thick, woolen blanked on it, which covered nearly the entire dock since the dock was small and the blanket was large. Then we lied down and basked in the warmth from the sun. She rested her torso on my legs, her weight pressing my legs into the solid dock beneath me. Her body heat kept me warm during cool breezes.

    It felt romantic out here, being surrounded by nature and away from the disturbances of traffic and everyday life. The calm sloshing of water against the base of the dock relaxed us. The air was fresh and dry for once, unlike many of the stifling hot and humid summer days.

    We overlooked the lake, admiring how the trees framed the dark blue body of water on one side. The leaves were a vibrant green from chlorophyll, and they crowded each other on the trees. The lake reflected some of the trees’ vibrancy in the dark waters.

    The other side of the lake was lined with large houses. Backyards informed us that the houses may hold small children with an affinity for outdoor play, such as swing sets and forts.

    My ears perked when I heard voices approach us. A family consisting of what appeared to include three generations of people, ranging from grandparents to children, rowed by us on the lake. The adults rowed unhurriedly and everyone laughed and talked animatedly. One of the adults caught my eyes for a brief moment as we watched them from the dock.  

    © 2017 Vic Romero

  • Speaking My Mind

    August…

    I just returned from my family vacation to Europe, and it was a wonderful time.  We went to Barcelona, Paris, and London.  It was for two weeks, so pretty much the entirety of August thus far.  I was nervous about going on a vacation that was so long and being isolated to with my family the entire time, but it ended up going really well: I didn’t confront any conflict with my family and although traveling had its ups and downs, overall, it was a nice vacation and I got to explore and see different things.

    I prepared a lot for any emotional challenges I might face during my travels.  I brought lavender oil with me, my Kindle, my journal, different colored pens, PlayDough, chocolate, and all of the DBT packets from my therapy group this summer.  I didn’t use all of these tools during my trip, but when I did need something, they were very helpful.  I tended to use the lavender oil and my Kindle the most.  I journaled twice with my colorful pens.

    Anyway…so I’m back to working my super-flexible job and I’m starting to plan how to plan for the rest of the summer and for my second to last semester.

    Second to last semester!  It’s so incredibly crazy…I’m going to be graduating in May.

  • Speaking My Mind

    Post-Summer Solstice

    I haven’t been the greatest at posting these European blogs…or beginning to even write them.  I was determined to write all of the blogs about my trip on my trip because of how much time we spent traveling.  As per usual, I don’t follow through with my plans.

    I wrote consistently for the first two days.  Afterwards, I just wrote lists of things I didn’t want to forget because I slept every time we traveled.  When I got home, I was too exhausted to bother with writing the blogs and a month later, I am just fucking lazy.  I’ll finish writing the blogs eventually because it’s important to me, but until then…I’ll be in the USofA, rotting away.

    Since I’ve returned to the states, my life has been incredibly drab.  It’s not because the excitement and glamour of Europe has dulled my regular, old life, but rather, I’m in limbo right now.  Hell, I’m always in limbo.  I should rename my blog “Life in Limbo” or something lame like that.  (Speaking of my blog, I’ve been meaning to redesign it again.  Another thing to add to my To-Do list.)

    The reason I feel like I’m in limbo is because I am very lost when it comes to what the fuck I’m doing with myself.  I don’t have a strict schedule so my days are all over the place, and I’m not the greatest fan of that.  I miss school for my hour-by-hour itineraries.  Fortunately, I’m resuming school in a couple of weeks, so order shall be restored to my life!  Until then, I’ll be in limbo.

    Some things I’ve been doing while I’m in limbo include working!  Yes, shockingly, I got a job!

  • Travel

    Vic’s European Vacation: Day 1: Traveling to London

    I’m in London! I’m doing a Europe trip with the alumni association at my university, although I won’t be an alumn for another two years but whatever! I’m a world traveler now!

    So here are the details of my seven hour flight to London…

    I’ve been at the airport since 1:30pm. (It is 5:30pm when I write this) My flight wasn’t delayed, my parents just wanted to ensure that I get through security, which has been crazy long lately.

    It was a little embarrassing because I started crying when I left my parents. I’m unsure what came over me..maybe it was because they had waited in line with me to go through security. Maybe if I said “bye” at the car, it wouldn’t have been such a dragged out “goodbye” and therefore it would’ve been less sad.
    Anywho…

    Well this is the plane. It has three rows instead of two.


    This is my dinner spread. They gave me wine without carding me !

    I think my alcohol tolerance got super low because I feel tipsy after drinking less than half the cup. And I’m eating with the wine! I guess it makes sense I don’t have the highest tolerance right now because I haven’t been drinking much for the last month. A little before finals, I kinda holed myself up and avoided the party scene. I’ve been tipsy here and there but I haven’t been hammered since..mid-April maybe? So I have to be extra careful at the pub crawl my first night in London.

    Anyway, I hope I can get some sleep. I definitely need it.  

    xo Vic

  • Speaking My Mind

    Gladiators Don’t Run, They Fight

    There are about two months left of school, and then I’m off on a plane to Europe where I will get drunk in every country and hopefully hit up a couple of gay bars.

  • Speaking My Mind

    Why Can’t We Be Friends?

    I feel like “friends” is the biggest topic I talk about with my friends. Isn’t that ironic? Well, it seems like many of my friends, including myself, struggle when it comes to friends for a variety of reasons. As of this past academic year (September 2014-May 2015), I’ve mostly been struggling with determining who my “true friends” are and finding people that I truly connect with. It hasn’t been until this summer, thanks to my current internship, that I’ve begun to figure some of my shit out.

  • Short Stories,  Speaking My Mind

    Love Bites (ep. 1): Act I, Scene 1

    I sit on the ground, oblivious to the craziness around me, solely admiring his dorky grin and the way he engages with the kids.  He starts flexing, daring one of the kids to hang onto his arms to prove his strength.  The kid stands up and grabs onto his forearms.  Then the moment of truth: the kid’s feet leave the ground and he is still standing, tall and proud.  The kid is amazed by his superhero- strength and I feel a little impressed myself.

    As he sits back down in the circle, his warm eyes catch mine and his smile widens.  My heart flutters.

    The rest of the class passes by quickly.  As I follow my kids out of the door, serving as the caboose of the line, I hang back a little to talk to him.

    “So, are you going to come hang out with us next Tuesday?” I ask cooly.

    “I can’t, it’s going to be my birthday,” he explains.  I attempt not to look disappointed.  “The following one I can try, though.”

    I nod silently.

    He gives me a heart-shattering grin.  “I’ll text you,” he says.

    “Sounds like a plan,” I say as he bows and I exit.

    End scene.

    © 2015 Vic Romero

    This is the final installment of the Love Bites series.  Read the other parts below:

    2: “Sweet(ish) F(ish)

    3: “What’s Your Name Again?

    4: “Simply Peachy

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