I look away, but the expression on your face
Is imprinted in my mind.
Eyebrows pulled together,
A stare that would set fire to the toughest of feathers
I’m being critically analyzed.
I retreat into the depths of my brain
To a place where I haven’t been in awhile…
I feel your voice try to lure me back,
But your soft tone only forces me forward,
Onto the train tracks.
I walk along them, refusing to look behind
It’s quieter here in my mind
No strange looks and no judgement
I follow the tracks to the summit
Peering down from the top,
The water crashes on the rocks
My heart is eager and my stomach drops
I plunge in
My body hits the water,
Burning as if it had fallen onto cement
The air in my lungs whooshes out
I gasp desperately, completely spent
Sinking lower and lower,
The water gets colder
And my body feels compressed into itself
I open my eyes,
Wanting to see one last thing before I die
And to my surprise
Mermaids thrive at the bottom
Swimming quickly, as if in full throttle
Many harmonize together,
Carefully braiding each others’ hair
Staring at me as I sink deeper into the depths of me
I blink at them, unsure of what to think
Then I remember that I’m drowning,
Without air, I cannot think
Why was I trying to escape me?
I kick my feet and pull myself through the water
The mermaids continue to swim and sing at the bottom
Just as I think my lungs are going to give up
I break the surface and see the sun
Dragging my body across the sand
I refuse to take a break, determined to get back to the real land
I stand, staggering toward the horizon
Along the way, I pass bison
Feasting on grass
I hop onto one, and with a slap
It hurtles forward, toward the train tracks
It then dumps me off, because it’s eager to get back to its pack
I sigh, glad that I made it back alive
Wading through the crevices of my mind
I reemerge on the other side…
Your hazel eyes are continuing to pry
Searching for answers,
Judging me for not telling an honest lie.
I confront your stare,
Aware of what awful things you’re thinking of me, but I no longer care
I am who I am,
That I can guarantee…
But who are you to judge me?
© Copyrights 2013/14 VicRomero
Hanging around in the dark,
It’s small and crowded
And I’m surrounded
The tiny room bursts with clothes,
Which press up against my mouth
Preventing me from shouting out
I want to scream the truth!
But I’m so scared…
All I want is to be myself!
Living in this closet is a burden I can no longer bear.
© 2013 VicRomero
<<I wrote this…a little less than a year ago…kinda brushed my conflicting thoughts off with this poem>>