I’ve included this video clip in the post I wrote when I turned nineteen…I hate repeating things but I felt that this was so appropriate for what I want to talk about: my lust life. AKA my love life but there has been no love so…I’m going to refer to it as my lust life.
Since school started in the fall, there have been four people I’ve toyed a little with.
moving on to the next thing!!
Today was a bad day.
One of the first things I saw before I even got out of bed was an email from my ex. The email wasn’t rude or anything (although I thought it was funny because of how ignorant I feel she is of her own actions) but it just set a bad tone for the rest of my day.
I’m hurting a lot.
The family that I feel I had last year…my support group…well it doesn’t exist anymore. At least it doesn’t feel like it.
My ex doesn’t even wanna be friends, my best friend rarely acknowledges my texts…all my other close friends are in different states far away and I feel alone because I haven’t established another solid support group.
I have friends, but I feel weird talking about things that are actually bothering me with them. I can talk to my RA about things that are bothering me, but I can’t really be friends with her because she’s my RA.
I feel alone…scared…and rejected.
Will I regret uttering these
Words so brutal?
I know I will be breaking my own heart
A blow to my own knees
If I decide to finally open my mouth
But I can’t lie anymore
And I can’t listen to your insistence
That everything will work out
You feel some form of love
All I feel is doubt
Your kisses are unbearable
Your touch makes me cringe
I’m falling in love
And falling apart
So the logical thing for me to do
Is to break my own heart.
© 2013 VicRomero
I slammed my hand on my ringing alarm clock and rolled over onto my side. My eyes snapped open at the feeling of hair tickling my face.
I began to back away toward the end of the bed, but her hand reached out behind her back and grabbed the back of my left thigh, holding me in place. She turned onto her left side to face me and smiled, her auburn hair in a disarray above her head. I gulped.
“Some night, huh?” she whispered, brushing her hand down my cheek to my chin. I stared at her wide-eyed, mortified.
Her eyes narrowed.
“I, uhh…” I stuttered, looking everywhere but into her green eyes. “I…I uhh”