I’ve been ready and eager for some change since the end of last year, which was fueled by a new relationship, dissatisfaction with my full-time job, and aspiring for more in my life. I wanted more money, more independence, more responsibility, more education, more experience, more travel…more, more, more.
So I set out to achieve all those things. I asked for a raise at both of my jobs, I started researching where I can take my career next, and I booked a trip to New Orleans.
I was so excited about the NOLA trip because although I’ve traveled since graduating from college, I haven’t gone somewhere entirely new to me since 2017. This was also the first trip I went on without my family since the summer of 2016.
The NOLA trip was more wonderful than I could’ve expected or hoped for, but as I was there, news that the coronavirus was becoming more serious in the US emerged.
When I returned to work on a Monday, I returned to an entirely different company. My boss, who had foreshadowed that he wasn’t going to be there when I returned, was indeed gone. Two of my colleagues in the accounting department were also let go, and sixteen other people in the company nationwide were gone too. On top of all of that, the people that remained, including myself, took a pay-cut in the hopes that the company could weather out this uncertain and ruthless storm.
Shortly after that, I lost my yoga job because the community gym I worked at understandably shuttered its doors.
Now, the entire country and a majority, if not the entirety, of the world are living in an apocalyptic reality. A reality without physical human contact in lieu of virtual human connection. A reality with an unstable economy, loss of jobs, weakened immune systems, and loss of lives. My heart goes out to everyone who has been adversely impacted by this virus.
The reason I’m writing is because…aside from craving to connect with you all, I’m intrigued by how strongly I desired so much change in my life…and in a month, my life has changed significantly…in a way I could not have even fathomed. Now I crave the familiarity and comfort of the past, even though I wasn’t my happiest a month ago. In hindsight, however, there was so much to be grateful for that I had taken for granted. A month ago, I was able to see my boyfriend every weekend, I was able to go to the grocery store without fear of getting sick and/or spreading illness to others…and I was able to leave the house.
While it feels like there was more to be grateful for a few weeks ago, I remind daily myself that there is just as much, if not more, to be grateful for now. For example, my family, my friends, and I all are healthy, and I hope that continues.
I am grateful to have a safe home to live in with clean, running water, electricity, and wifi. I am grateful to have the love and support of my family and my community. I am grateful for my “capital-Y” Yoga practice, which I’ve been leaning into so much lately…just to keep a smile on my face. I’m grateful to be growing and exploring my meditation practice and I’m grateful to share that with others via videoconferencing software. I am grateful for videoconferencing software and for cellphones. I am grateful to all the healthcare workers on the frontlines of this battle, and to all the scientists researching and studying this virus to develop better tests, vaccines, and cures.
If you’re inspired to do so, please share what you are grateful for in the comments below. Stay safe, and much love.
My second week of yoga has come and gone, and now I only have three weeks left! The fourth week consists of only two days of training and the final week is testing. So technically, tomorrow begins the last full week of training!
I’ve made improvements in my confidence since last week! For example, I haven’t cried this past week and I have changed my perspective in my class by honoring where my body is at rather than criticizing myself. I have also come out of my comfort zone a bit by talking more with my peers and now I eat lunch and talk with some of them.
Last Wednesday we went into the city and we did acro-yoga which is acrobatics combined with yoga. It requires serious trust in your partners in order to execute the poses safely. I challenged myself by trying things I otherwise would have never done, but I like that about this experience because I’ve been challenging myself constantly. By doing so, I surprise myself with what I am capable of. It’s quite satisfying.
My latest surprise was when I did a forearm stand. So far, I’ve only been able to do it with an assist and I haven’t been able to hold it, but I hope to be able to improve next week. I’ve realized that not only do these challenging poses require confidence, but they also require trust, whether that be in yourself or whoever/whatever is supporting you.
Evidently, this training has allowed me to learn more than just yoga, and it’s fantastic. I’m excited to graduate and to see where my new certificate will take me. Where will I teach what I’ve learned? What will I do to continue to learn?
If I could do anything with my life…I would want to teach and write, whether that be for my own business, for research, or for a book. I would like to travel internationally and domestically to teach and to learn from other people and cultures too.
I can do anything with my life though so it’s just a matter of how I want to make this happen and what opportunities will arise that will shape my life. I often feel a little skeptical of how the universe unfolds but I know I have to trust that I will be where I need to be.
How was this past week for you? What are you looking forward to this week? What are your intentions for this week?
My thesis advisor emphasized that I should savor these moments because they end quickly. Right now, my graduation days seem weeks away but it’s only a matter of days before I walk. Once it’s over, I can’t get it back. So that’s what I’ve been doing these last couple of weeks and that’s what I’ll do until my last commencement.
I’m experiencing all of the feelings lately. I’m simultaneously nostalgic, suffering from senioritis (although I think I’m done with exams unless I have to retake one…), nervous, excited, eager, worried, and sad about the impending end of my undergraduate career. On Mother’s Day, this Sunday, I will officially be done. I have some immediate plans for “what’s next?” but I still have to figure things out for after July. Hopefully, my yoga teaching program along with doing my own research for ideas will be helpful.
It’s surreal how four years have come and gone and I’m leaving with my Bachelor’s. It’s also surprising and impressive how much I’ve accomplished in those four years…I have three cords to wear at graduation and I wasn’t expecting to wear any. It’s amazing to reflect and see the growth that I’ve had as well as the impact I’ve made at my University and in my own life.
I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to go to college and I’m grateful to myself for making my four years productive. Four years ago, I went through a horrible breakup but in hindsight, that breakup further propelled me to get involved on campus to help me cope…which allowed me to be open toward meeting new people and making friends. There are tons of different instances throughout my four years at college where the ending of something became a new door to go through and explore what was beyond it. I know graduation is just me going through a new door but it’s uncomfortable to leave familiar spaces behind.
I don’t feel ready to work full-time and I don’t feel ready for graduate school. I have to get ready for something though because I need to continue to grow, and those are the two most viable avenues right now. Perhaps I can travel too but I would only want to travel domestically.
Anyway…I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of my accomplishments as well as my failures because those failures meant that I tried and “trying” is how I’ve been able to have had all of my experiences. I already know I’m going to continue trying new things because I’m doing the YTT and I also have this blog! I’m eager to see what else I will be trying too.
PS! Once these moments are over, I will resume posting twice a week with some awesome content. I feel kinda bad about not meeting the deadlines I’ve made for myself for this blog, but I want to change my perspective because I didn’t create this blog to stress myself out. I created it to express myself, to connect with others, and to have fun! Right now, I’m having fun with my friends and my girlfriend before everyone moves away after graduation. I’ll write about it for next Wednesday as I reflect on it all! By then, I will have graduated three times, I will have moved back home, and I will be…on a plane!
I’m going on a quick family vacation/graduation celebration for a couple of days! More on that later, stay tuned…
My girlfriend got me the beautiful flowers above and wrote me a sweet letter to celebrate all of my hard work! <3
I’m in London! I’m doing a Europe trip with the alumni association at my university, although I won’t be an alumn for another two years but whatever! I’m a world traveler now!
So here are the details of my seven hour flight to London…
It was a little embarrassing because I started crying when I left my parents. I’m unsure what came over me..maybe it was because they had waited in line with me to go through security. Maybe if I said “bye” at the car, it wouldn’t have been such a dragged out “goodbye” and therefore it would’ve been less sad.
￼Well this is the plane. It has three rows instead of two.
I think my alcohol tolerance got super low because I feel tipsy after drinking less than half the cup. And I’m eating with the wine! I guess it makes sense I don’t have the highest tolerance right now because I haven’t been drinking much for the last month. A little before finals, I kinda holed myself up and avoided the party scene. I’ve been tipsy here and there but I haven’t been hammered since..mid-April maybe? So I have to be extra careful at the pub crawl my first night in London.
Anyway, I hope I can get some sleep. I definitely need it.
The nights when I almost released my tether
To fly high over the moon
Talking myself in and out of sanity
About my impending doom
His baritone anchored me safely to earth
His baritone made me feel like I was his universe
Talking to me
The mornings when I almost crashed to the ground
Because I didn’t pull open my parachute
My head pounding in sync with my heart
About my hopeless bloom
His baritone anchored me safely to earth
His baritone made me feel like I was his universe
Talking to me
Then the nights woke up
And the mornings fell asleep
Because all good things end
Once it’s broken, it’s difficult to repeat
But I’m grateful that his baritone was there to anchor me
And swaddle me when I was cold
I’m grateful that he provided me with such comfort
When I was all alone
I’m grateful that he made me feel important
And for those mornings when he serenaded me to sleep
I’m grateful that we openly conversed
I will fondly treasure these memories.
© 2015 Vic Romero
I decided to write a poem for this installment instead of a story. Here is the first and second stories of the Love Bites series. The final installment will be posted in two weeks on Monday, 24 August 11am.