I can’t believe my birthday is tomorrow because October seems to have come and gone so quickly. I did my best to enjoy October, although I didn’t get to watch all the Halloween movies I wanted to because my work schedule is so hectic. I also wasn’t able to go apple picking or carve a pumpkin, but I’ll try to do those things next year!
Anyway…aside from a family birthday dinner, I don’t have anything special planned this year. I’d like to go to the city this weekend but we’ll see how it goes. In the meantime, I thought it’d be fun to revisit my birthday posts on my blog since I’ve written birthday posts since 2013! Time really does fly…
I hope y’all had a wonderful Halloween and I hope November is going well so far for you! Today is my last day of work and I’m working like 12 hours, so my birthday tomorrow will be extra sweet since it’ll be a well-deserved break. After today I should have more time to write so there will be more blog posts coming soon!
Of a forlorn face
In the grimy window
Of the bus as it creaks along.
I try my hardest to look beyond it
To look at the landscape as we drive along
But the grimy windows don’t seem to permit it.
The white smoke escapes my lips
While black tar enters my lungs
I sigh, in bliss
My head buzzing and ears ringing
Enjoying the silence from the cold evening
Later, I reenter the party
Mingle and mix with everybody
And smile because for this one night,
I’m not lonely
Even later, there are
Dark bedrooms and
Faceless bodies with
Forgettable names but
The absence of a heartbeat.
In the form of a woman
Caramel skin and dark,
A soft smile when her lips say my name
The golden sunlight-
An unwelcome guest
Shines through the cracks
Of the closed blinds
Seeping through the thin skin
Of my eyelids
Making itself known
The sunlight illuminates the caramel skin
Of the woman wrapped in the sheets
Entangled in my limbs
Eventually, I succumb to its insistence
That I arise
I disentangle my limbs and
I welcome the sun
To this new day
Stretching my arms over my body
Then folding over my feet
Bowing in respect
To be alive
© 2018 Vic Romero
All rights reserved.
Everything has felt so miserable. I haven’t done anything fun because of school, which I’m not doing too well in anyway…my bestie didn’t come to visit me for Halloweekend this year and I’ve been spending most of my weekends wallowing in my room. I can’t wait for this semester to end and to graduate, but when that happens, I’ll be going back home and I won’t be seeing my girlfriend nearly as frequently. Our relationship will change because we’ll be in two different places, both physically and emotionally. We only live about an hour away from each other but if I’m working full-time (at this rate, I won’t be because I stopped applying for jobs) and she’ll be at school full-time…we’ll have different, busy schedules. I don’t think it’ll negatively impact our relationship but I’ll just miss seeing her every day and I’ll miss spending as much time together. I also won’t be seeing my sister as much…I’ll miss being at school with her.
My birthday is tomorrow and my sister and I may not have a voice due to laryngitis caused by allergies. Dinner with our parents will be incredibly silent. This happened to me last February for the first time since elementary school, and I was hoping it wouldn’t happen again but alas, it appears it will.
I’m quite sad that tomorrow is my birthday…I am not where I want to be. Then again, I’m never satisfied with where I’m at. Why is that? What will it take for me to be happy, even if I’m not “the best?” Why make myself miserable? How can I change the way I value my life so that I’m positive and kinder to myself? Perhaps value societal expectations of me less? Perhaps value academic excellence less? Perhaps value the way I feel about myself more? How do I go about valuing myself more?
Anyway…I went to the city on Saturday to combat all this negativity. I went with my girlfriend because we had been talking about wanting to go for forever but for one reason or another, we haven’t been together yet. It was pretty spontaneous because we kept going back and forth with it but then we both got train tickets and hopped on the train and we were off!