Of course, he had decided to take the highway. There was no traffic on the highway, so there was no stopping. He must’ve known that if there was an opportunity to jump out of the car, I would’ve taken it.
I slumped down further in the passenger seat, my arms crossed over my body protectively as his words sliced through my skin. He said we were having this conversation because he loves me, but I wasn’t feeling loved at all. It wasn’t even a conversation; it was a lecture. A lecture about me. About what’s wrong with me.
I’m a little nervous for tonight.
Tonight I have a very casual, informal date. It’s not really a date..I’m not sure what it is. It’s with a woman though.
I apologize but the next publication of my short series, Love Bites, will be postponed to tomorrow at 11am. If you haven’t read the first publication, please click here!
My weekend has been pretty hectic with my internship beginning and all. Plus, I’ve had a ton of homework. One of my assignments is to read this poem, which I am absolutely in love with, so I thought I would share it. The video is June Jordan reading her poem, and I included the transcript of her poem below. Please enjoy this and share your thoughts!
I had a really great day today, one of the best days I’ve had in weeks.
I woke up this morning with no message or call from my ex (I had asked to talk to her last night) so instead of just…waiting…I sent her an open and honest text about what has been bothering me because in the other text I sent her, I acted like everything was fine when it wasn’t. I’m still waiting for a reply but I’m just glad that I got it off my chest because I feel more proactive and in control rather than just waiting to get shit on.
After that, I had class and although nothing special happened, I had a great time after that.
I’m so fucked. So, so incredibly fucked.
It was Sunday night. I made the boss I have huge crush on a mix CD after we had talked at work about bands that we liked…then I texted her asking if she was going to be at work on Tuesday morning because I was planning on going to my job to eat with a friend, and I wanted to give my boss the album.
Ever since that night I texted her, we have been talking…non-stop. Like…long messages.
Since I’ve been coming to terms with my sexuality as well as discovering the other types of sexualities that exist, I have read a lot of books. I decided that I should list them and give brief reviews of them…maybe someone who is also discovering who they are will find this list to be helpful.
I have struggled with finding good LGBTQ books…specifically ones that have female main characters. I’m unsure if that’s because there aren’t that many books regarding lesbian relationships as there are gay relationships…but then again, there aren’t even that many books that deal with gay relationships. Anwho…this is what I have found and read thus far.
- I want to be kissedGently by your full, lovely lipsOr eagerly, like you have finally foundWhat had been missingBefore I came aroundI want to be kissedNot beneath mistletoeBut in a room that is lit up, glowsTwinkling with icicle lightsI want to kiss until they burn out well, after midnightI want to be kissed by youAnd I want to feel you want meI want to feel the tremors overtake your bodyI want to hear you moanI want that passionThe sparks will inflame in the brick fireplaceAs the kindling fire between us will also burst into flamesKiss me foreverI don’t want to get coldOn these icy winter nightsAnd kiss me to consoleI want to be kissedYour warm lips, I missKiss me desperatelyCling to me, like it’s the last timeThat I will be yours and you will be mineKiss away your angerKiss away your despairKiss me any way you likeBut please just…kiss me©VicRomero
I really hate gym. I have hyperactive sweat glands as it is, I don’t want to exert energy and become even sweatier. Let alone be sweating in the early morning, which is unfortunately when I have gym class.
My sister and I were walking to get a basketball and I was bitching about how I hate gym, how I don’t want a basketball, that I hate basketball…then I made a joke saying “I hate all balls”. Although I was joking, when I made that statement I instantly thought of my “up-in-the-air/questioning” sexuality and how I have been considering discussing with my sister about my questioning. She was thinking of sexuality too, apparently because she turned to stare at me in the eyes, stone-faced and asked, “Is that your way of coming out to me?”
Almost a year ago, I decided to try online dating.
I had no business being online…I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and at the time I was jailbait since I was a minor.
Regardless, I made an account…it was Christmas Eve. I was at a state of depression and hopelessness I had never felt before. I had lost all my friends the year before…some weren’t really friends though. But anyway…I was lonely. The two friends that remained suffered from depression…one was hospitalized and the other on medication. I was doing my best to help them out, but my feelings were…being neglected…because they had enough shit to deal with on their own.
The feelings that consumed my head regarded my loneliness…but also my sexuality. I had been questioning it for about two years, which was when I uprooted myself from organized religion and when I began to develop feelings for a close friend, whom I’m no longer friends with because I was so embarrassed by how I felt.
Trying to keep my head straight…it’s been a rough day…so Kate Nash is my pill.
I’m a feminist…started being open about it about two months ago. I’ve written three feminist blogs, one of which is on here. For the most part, I’m still exploring it and and discovering who I am.
I know there is a lot of hate toward feminism…there’s hate towards everything though….but anyway…
I’ve never been on the receiving end of hatred, and today I…well I basically was. It sucked. I’m not surprised. I didn’t become an open feminist believing that I would not receive any backlash. I’m not ignorant.
I’ve heard stories and read things about the downsides of being an open feminist, but although I was expecting this to happen eventually, it didn’t hurt any less.