Today, May 27, 2014, is my best friend’s 19th birthday and my 3-month anniversary with my girlfriend.
It should be a happy day but my best friend and I have spent it crying because her former boss is a stalker and emailed her at 12:01 am to say happy birthday, and my girlfriend lost her promotion to becoming assistant manager, she’s getting transferred to another store, and the other boss that didn’t know about our relationship now knows about us.
I am also bombarded with math tests and final projects this week, the week of prom and prom weekend.
I don’t know what’s going on with my girlfriend yet and my best friend is scared to leave her house for her birthday dinner tonight.
I’m really worried and upset about my girlfriend…and I don’t know if she’s mad at me..maybe she doesn’t wanna talk to me…which is okay, I understand but… I’m also scared to go back to work in two weeks now.
When I find out, I will make another post.
In the meantime I will be listening to Fall Out Boy and trying to calm down.
I hope you all are having a better Tuesday than I am.
My girlfriend and I had our first date as girlfriends last Friday, March 14th. We were supposed to have that date on March 7th, but instead I spent that day with her and a bunch of our friends. March 6th was the day that I had been yelled at for dating her…I didn’t sleep much that night. My girlfriend stayed up with me and texted me, trying to console me. She’s been amazing and patient.
Anyway, last Friday we went on our date. I told my parents I was hanging out with my best friend. In reality, Janice* took me to an Italian restaurant but the restaurant side was closed so we just got pizza and we ran into all of her old teachers and my current accounting teacher there. Then she took me to her house, I briefly met her dad then was led to her room. She shares a room with her twin sister.
There was nowhere to sit except for the bed, so I opted for the floor, suddenly feeling very nervous. I hadn’t been alone with my girlfriend for more than two hours for the past month…and the last time we hung out alone for more than two hours, we weren’t officially girlfriends. As of that Friday, we have been girlfriends for two weeks and a day.
Janice teased me for looking so uncomfortable, especially when she deemed it a good idea to change her shirt randomly. I looked at the wall, my throat constricting. Then we decided to put on Perks of Being A Wallflower. I had lent her the book awhile ago and she had just finished it, so we were going to watch the movie. She suggested I sit on her bed so I nervously took off my shoes and flopped myself down on her tiny twin-size bed.
This is a reflective essay I wrote for my English class. Thought I should post it on my blog…
Growing up as a Christian has drastically influenced my self-discovery and self-acceptance process. Up until freshman year, I attended church every Sunday, was involved in four youth groups, attended the VBS programs and when I was too old to attend, I volunteered at them. My first concert was even at a church featuring a famous Christian band. I loved the morals and values that Christianity upholds and I also loved the Christian community. However, I never felt as if I truly belonged in it. The conflicts that I felt within myself caused me to feel miserable and disconnected to God. Christianity did little to offer support and acceptance for what I was feeling; in fact, Christianity led me to hate myself.
Seventeen magazine had said that in January I would be flirting with two hotties (which I was: my manager who I started talking to two days before I saw my horoscope, and my former best friend who I’ve been reconnecting with for awhile and is straight) and that one of them is compatible with me. On the 26th I was supposed to know which person is for me.
I don’t believe in horoscopes. I like to read them though because I think it’s cool when they are somewhat relevant to my life, and I wonder how many other Scorpios (that’s my horoscope) relate to the horoscope, which in turn means that they relate to me. It’s a connection of astrology. I find it neat.
Regardless of my fascination with horoscopes, I have never believed in them nor have I ever deemed horoscopes to be correct. Except for the one that I stated above. Then again, my horoscope was actually not correct because I had known she was the one that was most compatible with me after a few days of talking, regardless of my questioning our compatibility when I found out that she smokes pot. Pot irks me.
Anyway, today is the 27th and I forgot that the 26th, the official day that I was supposed to know if she was the person for me, has passed.
Did anything happen yesterday that reaffirmed that she was the person for me?
….no. I spent most of yesterday not talking to her because I was studying or…”studying”. I did text her later last night during the Grammy’s though. I confessed to her that I had died inside (in a good way) that one time that she had gotten mad at work and almost whacked me with the door because she had grabbed my waist…she was all: omg Victoria you just melted my heart I didn’t think I could make anyone feel that way…
Other than that, there was nothing that happened on the 26th that screamed “VICTORIA YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH THIS GIRL!!!”
However, there have been other times, before the magical 26th and after that has caused me to like her even more than I did when I was just admiring her from afar a few months ago.
We have a lot in common, my girl and I. We have little things in common, like favorite ice cream flavor, favorite music, etc. But we also have similar values, such as honesty, family, work ethics.
We have a lot of differences too. She loves wrestling and football (specifically the Patriots) and I don’t watch sports (except for tennis sometimes). She enjoys romance movies, I prefer comedies. There are others too, but I didn’t want to make a list about her here. I want to talk about…Thursday.
Hello, everyone, hope you all are doing well and you have been having a good new year so far.
My new year has been pretty incredible. I came out to some of my friends and my sister, I found out that the girl that I have been crushing on likes me back (we’ve been talking nonstop for almost three weeks now, it’s been established that we like each other…) and…oh yeah! I went on a date with her! Yesterday, January 20, I had my first official date with anyone, and my first date with her…it was amazing. I’m still in shock that she likes me back, that she has liked me since I started working in July, that we went on a date and that she had a nice time and wants to see me again, that most of her friends know about me and her best friend wants to meet me…it’s all crazy exciting and overwhelming.
Anyway…I have intended to write everyday in 2014, but that didn’t happen once I started talking to her. I was too happy to write, or too…I just couldn’t write.
But I do want to catalog (mostly for me) all that happened between me and her for the past two weeks so…I transferred the texts I sent to my cousin about all my problems/concerns/events onto here because I don’t feel like typing it all again lol. The following texts are only my half of the textversation (texting conversation).
Today has been too good of a day.
I didn’t have to see the girl I crush on at work. Although I worked alongside the girl that I am jealous of, it wasn’t a big deal. I was too busy working to socialize.
My boss, whom I’m not very fond of, gave me a lunch break. I usually never get a break during my Sunday shift. And he even paid for my meal. That rocked. He was being weirdly nice.
Then I left work when I was supposed to. That never happens. I got about seven bucks in tips. It was good.
When I got home I ate and watched an episode of The L Word. It’s really great. Kinda dark and serious…can’t watch that many episodes at once.
After that I watched three episodes of Gilmore Girls with my sister, and now I’m moping. While scrolling through my Dashboard. (That’s a Tumblr term…I’m a Tumblr girl now).
Work today was horrible. And it’s a dumb idea to have a crush on someone you work with.
Like I’ve said before, I have a crush on my manager. The crushing part sucks mostly due to the best friendship/lover-ship my manager has with one of my coworkers
«originally posted to Opuss. Not modified. Image from http://images.nationalgeographic.com»
So…I completed one college application today.
It’s a really nice school, has good academics…is in NYC. And there was no application fee, which was really nice. Applying to colleges can cost a few hundred bucks.
The only downside of this school is that it’s a Catholic university, and I loathe Catholicism.