Speaking My Mind

“Well I could be angry but you’re not worth the fight and besides, I’m moving on.”

I’ve been going to therapy again and I really like the therapist I have.  The last session we had I talked about the things that I was feeling as a result of my ex’s shitty way of breaking up with me.  Initially I was sad but okay with it, then this week I’ve been angry…I’ve been feeling this way because I feel like I don’t really understand what happened with us, so I’m trying to make sense of things by filling in the blanks myself.  Unfortunately the clarifications I’ve created have a huge impact on how I feel and my overall mood.  She suggested some tips to help me move forward without having the closure that I seem to crave, so I listed them below.

Process of Accepting

  1. Acknowledge the feelings
  2. Why am I feeling that way?
  3. Take a step back and realize that the clarity I’m filling in myself may not be the truth
  4. In fact, what happened may have nothing to do with me
  5. I’m better off without her

Of course, following this process won’t always be easy and this doesn’t help me with missing and longing for my ex but it’ll at least prevent me from getting angry and it’ll help me heal a bit.  I really want to focus on moving forward instead of being overwhelmed by feelings that stem from my past.  I still want to feel upset, because that’s okay to feel that way, but lately my feelings have impacted my life in negative ways.

Anyway…I will probably still be writing random memories that I have of her and me as they pop up into my brain, but hopefully I will start writing things that make me happy and what I’m accomplishing rather than memories of a girl that broke my heart.  By using these tips for accepting what happened as what it is and by using the guide I created to push my boundaries and get more comfortable in college will help me begin to write things that make me happy.  I’m going to be okay…no, I’ll be more than okay.  I am awesome, I deserve better than how my ex treated me, and I am going to be successful.  I am a first-semester college freshman for Pete’s sake, I have so much ahead of me…so many opportunities…in the future I’m going to look back at what happened with my first love and be a little sad and nostalgic but ultimately I will have achieved greater happiness at that point, maybe not romantically but perhaps in my career, so I will be great.  I will persevere because I am strong and worthy of life, love, and happiness.

Sorry for my random empowerment speech haha

Hope all is well with you guys!


“Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss.”

“Be strong because things will get better.  It may be stormy now but it never rains forever.”

“You can’t start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one.”

“Well I could be angry but you’re not worth the fight and besides, I’m moving on.” -Paramore Interlude: Moving on


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